All at once.

Chapter 24

The tension is unbearable. Every time I meet Harry's eyes I feel my heart break. And we do that a lot... Both probably unsure of what is right and not.

Finally the dinner is over, but I get reminded that there's a whole lot more of the evening left.

For the first time this night I'm having a laugh, me, Zayn, Perrie, Louis and Jesy in a cab. We're having a blast together. It makes me think that I'm probably able to make it through the evening.

Before we leave the boys, Zayn kisses my cheek and promises that we will see each other later. But the truth is I would be glad if we wouldn't. I would've been more than happy if he just could've decide for me.

The arena is big, really big. Spotlights, cameras, big screens and a lot of noise.

The girls are going crazy beside me. With them giving me tinnitus it feels like several hours before the boys comes out, when it's actually just half an hour.

Then it's time. The light turns black, everyone gets quite and suddenly a short movie starts on the big screens beside the stage. It some sort of "presentation" for one direction. When Harry's face is shown it feels like someone is stabbing a knife into my stomach, to then twist it.

Then they're there, on stage, 5 guys. 2 of them happens to be the guys I'm seeing... The 2 guys who I both like a lot. This is too much, too much. Seeing these 2 humans together... I meet Zayn's eyes. I meet Harry's eyes. Zayn. Harry. Zayn. Harry. I can't take it. Everything fades away, I'm spinning and I can't think straight. I hear voices calling my name. 2 large hands taking my body over the fence. I get a glimpse of my view and I'm in a guards hands who's running backstage.

I wake up to 2 voices arguing.

"It's not even possible for me to know this"

"You could've told her?"

"I was going to, but you beat me to it"

I open my eyes and see 2 male silhouettes. The voices is familiar. It's not hard to figure out who's in front of me. Zayn and Harry of course.

I'm in a hall, probably backstage, because I can hear the music. But why are they here? They should be out there singing. I have bad consciences for having them do this, it was never my plan.