The Life of KitCat

Mistakes

I don't know how long it's been since I was sitting on the steps, but when my mom gets home, I've begun to shiver.  I dry off and change into pajamas just before the doorbell rings.  My mom gets it while I snuggle on the couch.  I'm not doing homework tonight.  I don't care what happens tomorrow.  Quite frankly, I don't care about anything now.  

Connor comes into the living room, smiling down at me.  I wipe away some tears with the back of my hand, not sure if they just started or had never stopped.  His face grows in concern and he moves me onto him.  I twist around to press my head into his chest, relaxing at his touch.  When my mom offers us dinner, I insist that I'm not hungry and Connor says that he ate at his house, so we go upstairs.  I climb into bed and before he crawls in next to me, he throws an overnight bag across the room.  He talks quietly to me about his day.  I'm barely listening and I know that he doesn't really care.  He rubs my back and twirls a finger through some of my hair.  I slowly fall asleep, relishing his touch.  

The next morning, Connor and I walk to school together.  I try to cover up how upset I'm feeling about Andrea because I know that it will only upset Connor.  When we get to school, we go our separate ways, but I decide to ditch my first class.  It's that same strict teacher and I know that I can't face him.  Instead, I walk around campus, looking for something to get into.  I find the smoking kids and I take a breath of a joint, enjoying the sudden burst of calm and stupidity that settles over me.  I eventually get my own and I sit against the building, ignoring the time and my schedule.  Before I know it, I glance at my phone and see that it's been a half hour since school ended.  I drag myself to my feet, stumbling over nothing.  I go out the back entrance of school, stumbling along the road until it feels as though the drug has warn off.  I spray myself with some perfume from my bag, starring around at my unfamiliar surroundings.  I begin to reach for my phone, but then remember with a sinking feeling that it was ruined in the rain yesterday.  I decide to walk in a certain direction, hoping to stumble upon someone who can help.  The sun begins to set and I begin to shiver, rumbling my arms to ward off the chill in the air.  I can't tell how long I've been walking, but when I can see my hands in front of me, I stop, slouching on the curb.  A car suddenly rushes by, pulling over to where I am.  I stand up, beginning to walk in the opposite direction.  

"Excuse me, do you need any help?"  I turn around at the familiar voice of the woman.  I don't know who it is, but I certainly recognize that voice.  I begin to get closer.  

"Sorry, what's your name?"  The woman gives me a smile that shines through the darkness.  She laughs a little at my weird question before saying,

"Andrea.  Andrea Rose.  Why?"

"Just curious," I say, my voice quivering.  I come closer to the car, every part of me shivering.  She has Andrea's first and middle name.  As I get closer, I can see her dark hair.  It's exactly like Andrea's.   She has tan skin that contrasts her bright smile, just like Andrea.  I'm pretty sure that she's wearing the same perfume.  I can't control my shaking as I get in the car, giving her directions to the house.  She talks just like Andrea, sings to certain songs like Andrea, and laughs like Andrea.  I actually can't handle this.  I stare out the window, silently wiping away my tears.  Her hand suddenly brushes against my arm, squeezing it slightly.

"You okay?" she asks, her voice becoming too much for me.  I nod, unable to speak.  She turns a corner and a screeching sound comes from in front of up.  She slams her arm across my chest, slamming her foot on the brakes.  I scream, unable to process what just happened.  The man juts his hand out the window, waving and turning down another street.  He nearly killed us and all he did was wave?!  Andrea removes her arm, breathing loudly.  We pull up in front of the house and I get out, thanking her profusely and asking for a selfie, just because I want a picture to show my mom.  As soon as her car disappears around the corner, I burst into tears.  I get inside, falling to the floor, hearing people shouting from other rooms.  I tune everything out, unable to process who I just met.  Hands grab at me, trying to pull me to my feet, demanding explanations, but I can't.  I just can't anymore.