Can I Say Goodbye?

91 "T"

It's quite funny how things never change.

When I was a child I would sit on my window sill and stare at the moon at midnight.

Sometimes I would cry, sometimes I'd pretend the moon was my friend...

The only friend who understood my pain.

I'd often ask it questions and pretend it could feel my pain.

I would stare at it for hours. I'd wear a jacket and sit in the cold.

Some nights were cold and sometimes there were storms.

But that never stopped me form staring outside

Tonight...

Suddenly I felt the urge to stare at the moon again and ask it what's wrong with me.

I can't see the moon or the sky from my new rooms window.

Dear moon,

I'm hurt and I'm sad again.

You can't see my tears tonight because these walls hide my sorrow.

You can't hear my words tonight because this room conceals everything.

I miss those days where I could stare at you and silently cry.

Even though I'd be sad but looking at the dark sky made me feel content.

In that moment I always wondered if there was someone else also staring at you.

We're they also in pain?

The feeling of not being alone always made me feel better.

I've always been different, I grew up too fast.

They couldn't understand me so they outcast me.

And I couldn't understand them so I tried to be like them.

But hurts, it always does.

Knowing that I'll never find stability, that I'll always be a disaster

That I'll never find the peace that I always searched for when I stared at you every night.