We were both laying on Felix's bed next to each other and facing the ceiling.
We were both quiet in that moment, neither of us saying a word, but the silence between us wasn't nowhere near uncomfortable or awkward.
If anything, it was comfortable, as the silence was calm and peaceful. The only thing I could hear was Felix's heavy, yet soft breaths.
Certain events popped in my head from time to time. None of them were that happy honestly and thinking about them made me feel sadness.
They went from events at the cliff to Felix's self harm and the note I had left awhile ago. Although this was true, there were times when I'd get flashbacks of the good times Felix and I had together.
I obviously couldn't remember any vivid details, but I could remember the feeling of bliss while being with him.
As flashbacks like those happened, I would always start wondering when I would fall for Felix again. Even now, he was the only one making me feel happy or anything at all. It felt like my life was surrounded by him.
I knew that what I felt towards Felix probably wasn't love, but I definetly did feel something. I just didn't know how to describe it.
Soon the silence between us was broken by Felix.
"Changbin?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I...Can I kiss you?"
"Of course."
I answered him a bit hesitantly, but letting him kiss me was probably the smallest thing I could do for him.
If kissing me was something that Felix wanted to do, then so be it. After everything I had put him through, letting Felix kiss me was the least I could do to pay everything I've done back.
And not gonna lie, I felt pretty interested and excited to know what it would feel like.
Felix gently put his hand on my cheek and moved my face to his direction.
I just closed my eyes, as I wasn't quite sure what to do. I could hear Felix giggle a bit, as I sensed him getting closer to my face.
As our lips finally met, an euphoric feeling shot through my body. It honestly felt like entering the gates of heaven, as his lips felt extremely smooth and addicting against mine.
During the kiss, sudden flashbacks came to me.
It was how Felix and I shared our first kiss, which made me smile.
Not thinking about it much, I turned his head slightly and kissed his soft, pink lips for a brief moment.
This is something that brothers are allowed to do, right?
"Hey! Don't do that! I'm too young for your gross smooches!"
Recalling the happy, yet blurry memory, I couldn't help put chuckle.
Felix had broken the kiss some time ago already, making me miss the feeling.
"I really missed the taste of your lips, Binnie."
Felix gave me a smile.
For the first time in awhile, his smile seemed genuine, making my heart beat faster than ever before.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Song: Six Feet under, by Billie Eilish
'Retrace my lips
Erase your touch
It's all too much for me
Blow away
Like smoke in air
How can you die carelessly'
YOU ARE READING
lethal//changlix
Фанфик{completed} "It hurts to know how you wont ever love me the same way you used to. I wont ever get the same Changbin I once knew back, but I know it's not your fault. I try so hard to live with it, but I just can't. I can't anymore." ωεℓcσмε тσ мү ηι...
