After All • Calum Hood (Sequel to ISTTY)

51

Madeleine's p.o.v

I don't know what time it was, all I know is my phone wouldn't stop ringing, at first I didn't wanted to move, I thought it was Calum, then I remembered about my dad and desperately started to look for my phone, once I had it in my hand I pick up without even seeing the ID

—Madeleine, Madeleine -it was my mom, she was crying. Automatically I felt my world crumbling down, I didn't needed to be told the whole sentence, I already know what happened-

I abruptly sit on the bed, the tears were streaming down my eyes like a waterfall, how is it possible? My dad, my first love, my hero.
My mum is still on the line talking but I couldn't understand nor process what she's saying to me, everything she says feels like a buzz. I stand up not knowing what to do, feeling trapped and in desperation, Wyatt is still sleeping on the bed—I think of calling Calum but I don't react, I think of going to Mali's bedroom but my legs won't move so I give up and cry, cry a lot, my mum is on the line telling me to calm down but I couldn't, not after minutes of crying

—Mu-mum... -I say weakly, trying to control my breathing but I couldn't-

—I'm sorry, daughter, I really am, but he's fone -she's crying as well- your daddy's gone, sweetie

And as if I had a switch on my back, I started crying even more, uncontrollably. I take several deep breaths trying to get my shit together, I can't let my mum alone on this

—Okay mamma, please, you've got to be strong -I try to comfort her but truth is there isn't anything that could make her feel comfortable right now-

—Just, get me out of here, Mad. Please pick me up, I don't want to be on this house, I beg you

—I'm coming -I say nervously-

I turn on the lights of the room and peak at Wyatt again who's peacefully sleeping, I leave the room to walk straight to the living room where everything's silent, all that could be heard were my sobbing. I walk to Mali's door and knock a couple of times without having any answer... If this were another situation I wouldn't be doing this, but what's going on is different so I open the door and let myself in, everything was turned off.

—Mali -I say in a whisper, still sobbing- Mali, please wake up

She starts moving around on her bed and I murmur again, finally waking her up, she flinches a little once she saw me but it's understandable, imagine being woken up by a dark shadow standing beside you—once she realises is me, she leans in to turn on the lamp beside her, her eyes were crinkling due to the sleep, she sits on the bed rubbing her eyes

—Mali -I murmur again and break down, crying a lot. I sit in front of her and she doesn't say a word but holds me in her arms, making me cry even harder-

I don't know how long we were there but then I remembered about my mother

—Mali -she lets go of me, I clean my tears as I speak- my mom -I say weakly and she instantly understands, nodding-

—Come on, I'll change quickly. Stay here if you want to, I'll take care of Wyatt

And with that, she leaves the bedroom. I stay there in silence, I couldn't be more grateful with Mali's presence in my life right now, I don't know what would've happened if she wasn't here because I don't even have the strength to look after Wyatt. I'm feeling dizzy and weak, I never thought this would affect me so much, Mali interrupted my thoughts coming in again, she did everything almost in a second -or did I took too long thinking?- she's already changed with a awake Wyatt on her arms

—Come on, Mad.

I nod and stand up, we go to the carpark and hop in her car. The ride was silent, we should be heading to the airport instead, we were supposed to... We were supposed to go on our way to see Cal, this was supposed to be the day to do the family trip, my dad was supposed to see Calum play for the first time, so many things were supposed to happen today and the last thing I ever imagined was this one happening. Why does life have to be so tough and cruel sometimes? So unfair, so mad. Tears were staining my cheeks while others were running down, I'm a complete mess right now and my whole body feels sick.

—Does Calum knows? -Mali looks at me quickly-

—No, he doesn't -I take my phone out realising I had forgotten to tell him- I don't know what to do, should I call him or...?

—He must be asleep right now, you can call him if you feel comfortable enough to talk -she suggests and I nod-

I call Calum through FaceTime but he won't pick and since I'm not on the best place, I give up and hang up.

—He won't pick up -I let Mali know-

—Mad... I know I haven't told you yet but I'm really, really sorry -she says softly- you know you can count on me for anything and I want you to know you're not alone, you're one of my greatest friends and I tend to be there for you as much as I can

—Thanks Mali, I won't have enough life to properly thank you what you're doing for me -I give her a warm but weak smile-

When we got to my parent's house, my mum was sitting outside, alone, looking like a complete wreck, her hair's messy, her eyes and nose are puffy and reddish. As soon as she notices Mali's car she won't stop looking at it, Mali parks and the first thing I do is hop down to hug her, it was a long hug were we both continued our crying

—He's upstairs, I'm still waiting for the authorities to come -she speaks lowly- can you please handle that? I don't want to know anything about that process, anything.

—Where is he?

—On the bed, we were... -her voice cracks and she clears her throat before continuing- we were sleeping but I woke up to make breakfast for all of us, then I went to wake him up to get him ready for the airport but... -she completely cracks, giving in-

Mali finally appears with Wyatt on her arms, I tell her through signals to stay with my mum and she nods. I walk into the house and it feels colder and darker than ever, I go upstairs and stay in front of my parent's bedroom knowing he's there, when I open the door I feel my knees go numb as if I am about to fall, I feel a huge pressure on my chest and the need of run away but it's useless, there's no going back.

My phone starts to vibrate and I grab it, realising it is Calum, I pick up immediately

—What happened, love? Just woke up and saw your missed call -his voice is deeper than always which in another situation would've been perfect- Mad? Baby, what happen- he cuts himself off-

—He died

—I, Mad... You don't know how much I'd want to be there for you, you really don't. I'm so fucking sorry, I know what your dad means to you, I wouldn't have wanted you to go through that ever -his voice is softer- where are you now?

—Standing in front of him -I say it crying louder- I can't believe this Calum, not my dad, not him -I say hysterically-

—Shhh, please listen to me -he says trying to get my attention- I need you to calm down, I can't imagine how hard this must be for you but you gotta be stronger for your mom, Wyatt and yourself -he breathes out- Damnit! out of all the years, all the months and all the days I had to be away right now -something crashes on his side of the world- I really hope you can forgive me