After All • Calum Hood (Sequel to ISTTY)

53

My world paralysed completely, I felt my blood freeze and my body numb, my eyes started to fill with tears. I couldn't even ask anything to Mali, I was speechless, I just put my phone on the table without knowing if I hanged up or not, my cold hands now cover my face

—What happened? -I hear Ashton but I don't have the strength to answer- Calum

I try to calm down, I breath in and out a couple of times trying to hold in my crying

—Calum -Michael says out loud-

—Leave him, he needs his space to calm down -Crystal interrupts them. Thanks, Crystal-

I calm my breathing and remove a couple of tears that were barely threatening to come out. I breath in deeply and look up at them

—I don't even know what happened -I shrug frustrated- I don't know, all I know is Mali's voice showed how worried she is -I look at my phone to see it locked- and that Madeleine has been admitted to the hospital

—What?! Oh god, call Mali again -Crystal says to Michael-

—I need to go, seriously -I whimper-

—Let's talk to the producers, this is a family emergency. Let's see what we can do, maybe reschedule the concert a couple of days at least -Ashton, as always, tries to find a solution to every problem-

—Yes -I say- I need to be with my family. They need me

Michael is calling someone, I guess Mali, but my thoughts wouldn't let me fully focus. At the same time I wanted to know what is going on with my girlfriend

—I get it -Michael speaks- but don't worry, we'll try to solve everything for Calum to go sooner than anything -he hangs up and I look up at him, waiting for an explanation- I, I don't know what to tell you, I'm not one to tell you what happened with Madeleine

—What do you mean you're not one to tell me? -I burst out tightening my fists, feeling the anger run through my veins-

—I'm sorry, mate. I get you, I really do, but it's not my place to say -he shrugs- what we can do is find a way for you to go

—Let's, let's not lose time -Ashton says eyeing Mike, standing up from the table-

We didn't even had breakfast and all of them stood up by my side, which is why I loved to have them around so much. As we leave the buffet we run into Sierra & Luke, who were holding hands, Luke looks like he just woke up and Sierra's face expression is happiness, as usual

—Hey! -Sierra waves at us with her free hand smiling, I could see Crystal signalling her to cut it off- what happened? All good? -Sierra frowns her eyebrows confused at Crystal's hints-

—Not even close -I sigh-

—Where are you heading to? I thought you'd be having breakfast -Luke finally speaks-

—Right now everything is messed up -I explain- Madeleine's dad died on the morning and now she's been admitted to the hospital and I don't even know why -I look at Michael who chooses to ignore me-

—What? -Sierra gasps- I'm so sorry, Calum. Why don't you talk with the producers? To see what they can allow you to

—That's where we're heading to -Ashton responds-

—Let's go with you, I mean, if we're the four of us together agreeing on something will be better, right? -Luke looks at me, I nod-

We ended up gathering on my hotel room while I was packing my suitcase just in case I'm allowed to leave. Minutes later, we're sitting down on a restaurant near the hotel along with our producers, we started talking about everything that was going on whilst eating—even though I'm not hungry and I'm feeling beyond anxious. Somehow, I'm getting frustrated of seeing them eat so peacefully while I'm dying on the inside.

—So? -I burst out, bothered of being evaded- can we reschedule the concert or not?

—I'm afraid we can't, Calum. -one of the staff talks- moving one concert date will cause a domino effect on the whole tour and we can't allow ourselves to do that

I look down at my hands and tighten my jaw, it is a family emergency, but it's understandable too... Rescheduling one concert isn't that simple, I know about that

—But there's no other way? I mean, we have free days at Australia, we can cut them so Calum can leave today -Ashton proposes-

—I'm afraid we can't. Leaving to come back to New Zealand again to do one concert? Believe me, I've been working with you guys for long and that's why I love you all, it's not months, it's years. Calum, I'm sorry, I wish I could easily tell you to pack your things and go

—No, it's okay, I-I get it -I say trying not to make her feel guilty- it's just one more night, right? Tomorrow morning I'll be on the airport finding the first-hour plane ticket

—We can go to the airport right now to get you the plane ticket -Sierra says- well, I could do it, I could go to the airport for you. What do you think? If it's possible, I could book you a plane ticket right after the concert

—If it's possible, right after the concert, yes -I smile at her- I'd be so thankful, honestly

—No biggie, Crystal and I will handle that, right? -she looks at Crystal, who nods smilingly-

—I wish you can find it, I have faith you will -Luke says-

~

—Today-today has been way too long and tough -Luke starts talking- but we'll always do our best for you

—How are you feeling tonight New Zealand? -Michael asks euphoric-

I'm trying so hard to set my mood aside, I don't want it to affect our concert but I'm human, it's almost impossible to act like a robot—to act like I'm not going through anything

—I hope you're enjoying the show so much, I promise you we'll be back. We will always be back, we love New Zealand -I say bashfully, giving a shy smile-

The screams fill our ears, the energy today's totally unbelievable. I turn around to grab a little bit of water, I observe Sierra who's backstage looking at me with a wide smile on her face, she puts her thumbs up and smiles at me... I really hope she got the plane ticket. I turn around and walk, staying in front of the microphone

—Well, this next song is the favourite song to someone really special to me -I say trying to look at some faces- Madeleine, do you know her? -the crowd went nuts screaming, I smile at their reaction- of course you do -I giggle- well, I dedicate this song to you tonight, Madeleine -I say directly to her, as if she's there on the crowd-

The crowd started to scream even more, I close my eyes reminiscing about some cute anecdotes of Madeleine and I, even when we were little, and the melody begins:

Here I am waking up
Still can't sleep on your side
There's your coffee cup
The lipstick stain fades with time
If I can dream long enough
You'd tell me I'd be just fine
I'll be just fine
So I drown it out like I always do
Dancing through our house
With the ghost of you
And I chase it down
With a shot of truth
Dancing through our house
With the ghost of you
Cleaning up today
Found that old Zepplin shirt
You wore when you ran away
And no one could feel your hurt
We're too young, too dumb
To know things like love
But I know better now
(Better now)
So I drown it out like I always do
Dancing through our house
With the ghost of you
And I chase it down
With a shot of truth
Dancing through our house
With the ghost of you
Too young, too dumb
To know things like love
Too young, too dumb
So I drown it out like I always do
Dancing through our house
With the ghost of you
And I chase it down
With a shot of truth
That my feet don't dance
Like they did with you

I know today the song will be more special for her... Because of the lyrics, because she recently lost her father and everything fits in. Also for Annie, but dedicating it to her directly would cause a curiosity in the public and it would've been a synonym for everyone to find out about Robert's death and I'm not sure if Madeleine or Annie are ready for that.