Social Casualty {muke}

six

Michael

Luke left around three o'clock. I finally get the energy and drag myself out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I strip off all my clothes. Glancing in the mirror, I take in all my disgusting features. Horizontal scars spread from the top of my thighs down almost to my knees. They're all pretty old except for a few new ones from a couple days ago. I can see my hips bones sticking out, which makes me happy.

Since eighth grade I've been bullied a lot. No one cared enough to ever stop it, walking past completely oblivious to me being kicked to the ground in the parking lot or shoved into the lockers in the hallway. This led me to self harm, a lot. Most people think it's about trying to feel again, but for me I just want to be the one in control of my own pain, to decide how much I hurt. It's my sick way of feeling like I have my life in order, which I definitely do not. The worst part is no one ever notices, the cuts on my arms, or  the fact that I'm basically a walking skeleton from never eating. 

I step into the shower and turn it on as hot as possible. Faint lines of hair dye run down my face like usual. I'm surprised my hair hasn't fallen out yet considering how many times it's been dyed. I step out and turn off the shower. I open the cabinet under the sink to grab a towel, and a small silver object taped to the back of the door catches my eye. I grab it and move the small blade between my fingers. I sigh loudly and reluctantly replace the item in it's place.

I get dressed and head downstairs to the kitchen, I'm not going to eat today though. I don't deserve, simple as that. I'm not afraid of dying, I mean it's not like I'm planning on killing myself anytime soon, but I wouldn't mind if something happened to kill me without warning. 

I grab some ice cubes from the freezer and pop them into a glass. I walk over to the sink and fill it up to the top with water. This is my typical breakfast. Like I always say, no calories means no pain, no pain means no weight gain. I grab my phone off the counter from where it was charging. There was a message from Luke.

'This morning was fun, movies tonight? xx Lukey'

I smile down at the screen and type a quick response.

'Pick me up at 8, xo Mikey'

I spend most of my time before Luke picks me up playing video games and staring at the clock. I get ready around seven and Luke shows up ten minutes early. 

"Ready for our date babe?" Luke asks when I open the front door. 

"This is a date?" We hadn't really defined our 'relationship', so I wasn't really sure.

"You are my boyfriend, right?." He said blushing.

"Of course, Luke." Shit, I am?  I grabbed his hand and he led me out of the house. We got in his car and drove to the theater. The car stopped in the parking lot and Luke turned off the engine. I went to grab the door handle but he stopped me. I gave him a confused look. He got out and I watched him walk around the front of the car. He opened my door and grabbed my hand to pull me out.

"What a gentleman." I laughed and lightly hit him in the shoulder.

He rolled his eyes and smiled, "Just come on."

Next chapter is the date wOw.