How To Be Happy?

Chapter 50

Beat Again

“Happy? “

“Happy… “

“Ang daming taong malungkot… “

“That’s reality my love, “

“I just want everyone to be happy, “

“Hindi ka naman payaso. Hindi mo obligasyon pasayahin ang mundo. “

Tinitigan ko si Keanu at ang seryoso niyang mukha.

“Czarina, happiness is a choice. You can give a person so many damn reasons to be happy but if that person chooses to be miserable then he’ll be miserable until the time he chooses to be miserable. You can’t point the brightest star to a person who chooses to cover his eyes and expect him to say it’s beautiful, “ he seriously said. Pero ang pinaka ikinagulat ko na naman ay ang biglang pag ngiti niya.

“You’re so weird! “ natawa ako.

“Why? “

“Bigla-biglang ngi-ngiti eh. Hey… Hey, are you really my Keanu? “ I asked then pinch his cheek. Agad naningkit ang mga mata niya. Kinuha niya ang mga daliri kong nakakurot sa kanya at mabilis akong hinalikan sa noo.

“Finish your food, “ tipid na sabi niya at sinulyapan ang jolly spaghetti ko. Bumuntong hininga ako.

Napakatahimik ng palagid bukod sa ingay na dulot ng paghampas ng alon sa sea wall. Dinala na naman ako ni Keanu sa port na madalas na ata naming nagiging tambayan. Tahimik dito, walang ibang tao malamig pa ang hangin at nakakakalma ang tunog ng dagat. Nakaupo kami ni Keanu sa hood ng sasakyan niya.

“How to be happy? “ tanong ko sa hangin.

“It’s hard to be me, love. I am often chased by girls, “

“No… it’s not what I meant! “ natatawang sabi ko at hinampas ko siya ng mahina sa braso.

“How to be happy? “ he asked me with his serious stare.

“How to be Czarina Isabelle freackin Alfaro?“ I blurted like I’m surprised.

“No cursing, “ he said then gave me a smooth yet fast kiss. Snatcher!

“I wanna curse again, “ I joked. He looks at me amused. “Joke! “ bawi ko at tumawa ulet. Nakita ko ang pag ngisi ni Keanu kaya lalo akong natawa.

“Paano mo nalaman ang nangyari kay Mommy? “ I asked him.

“Ate Mara informed me. She told me that I need to come over because you needed me. I would come baby kahit hindi man niya sabihin sa akin. I won’t allow the world to give you reasons to cry ever, “ sabi niya. A tear dropped from my eye again.

“Damn! “ he cursed at niyakap ulet ako.

“No cursing, “ I reminded him kahit humihikbi na ako.

“Why are you crying? “ sabi niya at hinalikan ako sa noo. I cried harder.

“Love, it’s my fault, “ sabi ko.

“It was nobody’s fault, “ he assured me. “Stop blaming everything to yourself. Hindi lahat ng mali sa paligid ay kasalanan mo. Things happen kahit hindi man natin gusto. Your Mom’s gonna be okay. “ he said then let out a heavy sigh. Iniangat niya ang mukha ko para magkatinginan kaming dalawa. “Everything’s gonna be okay and it’s never going to be your fault, my love. “

“Love… “ I said like a whisper.

“Let yourself breath Czarina, breath. “

Kahit anong pilit nila sa akin para mailayo ako sa hospital ay hindi pa rin nila ako napigilan na bumalik. I just need to be near my Mom kahit ‘yun na lang. Natatakot sila na mangyari na naman sa akin ang nangyari noon na pagsisi ko sa sarili ko kaya Ate is trying to push me away pero mas nag-aalala lang ako. I am no longer the Czarina I was before… maybe.