Drarry One Shots

Potters Lightning Fast Auto Repairs (Part 2/3)

Revised: 8/2021
Tags/Warnings: Angst, confessions. 
Summary: Draco and Harry have dinner together, and Draco is finally able to get some things off his chest. 
Notes: This chapter is dedicated to @naginiwillkill because you were not only the first to comment, and your comments crack me up, but the first to vote. Ever. I can't believe the almost instant response I got with this.

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Draco arrived to Harry's flat much too early. His nerves had gotten the better of him, and he'd left much sooner than he originally planned. He had also put much too effort into his clothing, hair, and everything when he had gotten ready.

It isn't really a date, Draco told himself. He was doing too much, and Harry was going to walk out looking perfect and not underdressed and he was going to think Draco was stupid and that this was a big mistake-

Draco hit the steering wheel. If he did that to himself he would never get out of the car. He checked the address again, though he had last done it five minutes ago. Was it acceptable for him to knock on Harry's door yet? It was ten-till seven, which Draco thought might be okay but maybe if you only knew the person really well and him and Harry knew each other well, didn't they? But maybe not enough for ten minutes and maybe five would be better should he go up now or keep waiting-

Draco banged his head against the wheel. He let out a deep breath, and held another for fifteen seconds. He got out of his car, because if he didn't know he never would. He shut the door softly, checking his reflection in the glass. Which was silly, because he knew both himself and his car were spotless. It wasn't a pretty car, but it was wonderfully clean after Draco spent hours throwing every cleanliness spell he knew at it.

He approached Harry's door. It was on the ground floor and only twenty feet or so from his car. He raised his hand to the door, fist raised to knock, and hesitated.

Could he do this?

He had too. For himself and Harry. He knocked solidly three times, then stepped away from the door. In a moment it was open, and Harry stood in front of him. He was utterly perfect, just as Draco had expected him to be.

Dashing, Draco thought. Harry was about as dressed up as he was, which was an enormous relief. Harry grinned at him. "Oh, good. I was worried I wasn't dressed right, but I remembered you saying it was a nice restaurant so I took a chance. Glad I got it right." Harry was looking at him intently. Draco struggled for words, so he only nodded and smiled. He gestured for Harry to come out, and soon Draco was driving down the road.

"You look nice." Draco ventured. He hardly dared to breathe while he waited for Harry's response.

"Thank you," he said softly. "You do too, Draco."

They sat in silence for the rest of the car ride, but it was comfortable. Draco was surprised with himself, but much of his tension had flown away from him the moment Harry had smiled at him. Whatever happened tonight, it was going to be okay, he knew. Maybe it wouldn't turn out perfect, but he was going to go home tonight, and the weights that he had held for years would be gone.

Draco could hear soft jazz music playing when he got out of his car. He guided Harry to the door, opening it for him. Draco had barely remembered to change the reservation from a single person to two, but the staff had been very nice and expected them. They were sat quickly, next to a window that showed scenery of a large park where many people walked their dogs and children played.

They settled, putting in a few orders and discussing what they would be eating. Draco took a minute to show Harry how to use chopsticks, and laughed at the man while he struggled to get wasabi onto his plate. Harry laughed with him, joking about needed a kids pair of chopsticks. But then they were left to wait for their food. Both understood that the time to talk had come. Harry discretely placed a muffling charm around them, which Draco thanked him for.

Harry gave a great sigh, fiddling with his napkin. "Should I start?"

Draco shook his head. "No, I think I need to. I...bugger," he chuckled to himself, though there was little humor in it. "I've been wanting to say this for years and now that I'm here I don't know where to start."

"Where ever you want, Draco," Harry said gently. "I was there for it all. I know."

Draco couldn't feel cowardly when Harry looked at him like that. He tinged his chopsticks together, needing something to do with his hands.

"Perhaps the beginning," Draco murmured. Harry waited for him to continue, looking patient and encouraging. "I first need to apologize for how horribly I treated you for years. I know now it was stupid schoolyard bullying, and in no way was I the biggest issue in your life, but I made everything worse and awful for you for so long. I've regretted it since-since I don't know when. Before the war ended. We stopped being children when we should have still been, and it made me see a lot of things more clearly. Not everything, unfortunately, but some."

Harry didn't flinch away from him as Draco thought he might. He didn't scorn Draco for his words, for trying to make a difference now when he should have done it so long ago. "I was-I was idiotic, as a kid. Completely. I didn't understand anything and I thought I knew everything, and everyone around me suffered for that. I want to apologize for how I treated Weasley and Granger and so many others, but those need to be their own separate events, and this is about you, Harry." Draco laughed humorlessly again. Hopelessly. "It's always been about you. I never realized, but I revolved around you growing up. Always watching you, wanting to beat you. At Quidditch, at studies, socially, in any way I could. I was always jealous, always envious. You had so much less than me and I thought you had so much more, and I wanted it all. And I apologize for my ignorance, and for my annoyance, and for-for so much."

Draco needed a moment to collect himself. He sipped his water to stall. Harry let him, looking away so he could have some more privacy. Their food arrived in that time, and Draco used the welcome distraction. He ate a little before he continued, wondering if he was going to make himself sick while he spoke.

"I always revolved around you, though it changed at some point. I was still jealous, still envious, but of different things. Jealous of Granger, of all the Weasleys for being so close to you," Draco paused, then blurted "especially Ginny Weasley." Harry's mouth dropped open, shocked, but Draco continued before he could. If he stopped he would never start again. "I was so incredibly jealous because she could hold you and kiss you and be with you and it was easy, and you were happy, and I knew that would never happen with me. For so many reasons, it could never happen.

"And then-then so many things happened. Dum-Dumbledore, and everything else," Draco stumbled. "And I knew my orders, I knew I was under the wrong person but I had no idea how to escape. He was in my head constantly, Harry. The mocking, the tor-torture, everything. When you appeared at the manor, they pulled me because the Dark-uhm, He pulled it from my head how I felt about you and knew I would give it away if it was really you they had captured. I thought I would too. I'm not sure how I didn't. And I had to watch you be thrown in the dungeon and had to listen to Granger as they-" Draco choked.

Some tears fell down his face, but he quickly wiped them away. "And then you escaped, and you had my wand. In a way I felt like I was helping, because I had given you something, hadn't I? But no, you had taken the wand of an enemy and I was making excuses for myself. Still, I felt like I had made a difference, and that made everything a bit easier to bear.

"But then there was the battle, and-and you were d-dead. And I wanted to kill everyone there, because they had failed you and had let the one thing that wasn't supposed to happen happen. But I couldn't, because then I would get myself killed and wouldn't be of any use to anyone. And then you came back," Draco laughed, the sound getting stuck in his throat. "You came back from the dead, just like you did yesterday when I found you. And you beat him and I thought I would have time to say all these things and apologize to all those people and make amends, but then you gave me back my wand and you were gone."

Draco covered his mouth to muffle a sob. Harry grabbed the hand that was on the table. Draco squeezed it tightly, composed himself, and continued.

"I am so glad I was able to see you again. Even if nothing comes out of it, I've been wanting to say that for years. I-I could never say everything, and even what I have doesn't do you nearly enough justice. You deserve so much more-" Harry squeezed his hand, stopping him. Draco hadn't looked at him the entire time he had been speaking, and now he forced himself to look. Harry deserved that much.

"You've apologized enough, Draco. You don't have to cry. It's okay, I promise. I've never held any of those things you did against you."

Draco half laughed, half sobbed. He picked up his chopsticks and shoved food into his mouth so he wouldn't break out into hysterics. "Please look at me."

Draco looked up from where his eyes had dropped to their intertwined hands. "I think there's more we need to discuss, but I don't think this is the place to do it. Why don't we go back to my house and finish this conversation, so you don't have to worry about losing face in front of everyone? I'm not trying to embarrass you, I just want you to be comfortable and I know you, and I know you're feeling exposed right now."

Draco hiccupped and nodded. He ate another sushi roll. It was delicious, as always, but he couldn't enjoy it right now. Harry smiled kindly at him. "You go wait in the car, and I'll get this food wrapped up. Do whatever you need, okay? If you need to cry, you can cry. But I promise we will continue this once we're alone." Harry held eye contact with him as he spoke, making sure Draco listened.

Draco nodded. "Thank you," he whispered, because that was all he could manage right now. He walked out and into his car, trying to collect himself and waiting for Harry to return. The hard part was over, he thought. He hoped so.