Waiting To Be The One (Ashtan Fanfiction)

Chapter eighteen: Fake Love

Chapter eighteen

T H I R D  P E R S O N

"I don't know what to do, Lance. I'm so scared to hurt him again and also terrified to hurt myself too." naiiyak na saad ni Ashley. Hindi na niya talaga alam ang gagawin. She did everything to avoid him, to avoid Tan but it was still bot enough to protect her self and her heart.

Sabagay, hindi nga talaga basta basta mawawala ang pagmamahal natin sa isang tao. We fall in love easily but we can't fall out of love that easy.

"Loving means risking, Ash. When I realized how I am so in love with Angela, I was also terrified of what will be the result. Natakot akong baka masaktan ko lang ulit siya at piliin na naman kita. Natakot ako na baka masaktan ko ang sarili ko. Napaka duwag ko noon, Ashley. But, I realized that when we love, we risk too." tumingin si Ashley kay Lance nang tumigil ito sa pagsasalita.

She can see how happy and contented Lance is. She can see how Lance was so in love with Angela. Their story is not a perfect love story but it brought them together.

Naisip niya tuloy, sana ganiyan din siya. She wishes that she can also be happy and be contented with Tan. She wishes that someday, she could see Tan's eyes with love while looking at her.

"I am not telling you what to do. I just want to tell you, Ashley, that don't be afraid to risk. Kung masasaktan ka, be it. Tumayo ka mula sa pagkakahulog mo at umahon ka ng tass noo. Ang importante, you risk."

Lance is really true. Tama siya dahil kung magmamahal tayo, kailangan nating sumugal.

People shouldn't be afraid of being hurt because hurting is a part of our lives, naisip ni Ashley.

Agad na tumayo si Ashley mula sa pagkakaupo at iniwan ang gulat na si Lance. She shouldn't waste time. Dapat talaga ay sinabi na niya kay Tan ang totoong nararamdaman. Ayaw niyang magsisi siya sa huli dahil hindi niya sinabi ang nararamdaman.

Maybe, just maybe, Tan is still in love with her. Kasi kapag ganun, ayaw na niya itong bitawan.

Agad na dumeretso si Ashley sa condo unit ni Tan. Natatakot siya, kinakabahan pero kakayanin niya ang lahat. Tan risk too much when he loved her. Now that it's her time to fall in love with him, she will also risk everything.

The door opened and Ashley saw Tan top less while looking at her shocked. "Ashley, what are you doing here? " tanong pa nito sa kaniya. She smiled at him before she talk.

"Tan, I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused you. I'm very sorry if I hurt you back then. I know, you don't love my anymore the way you used to be, but I will still tell you about my feelings." Tan looks at her confuse.

"Anong sinasabi mo Ashley? Baka naman kailangan mo lang talagang mapag-isa. I am also sorry for talking to you like that hours ago" hindi na natapos ni Tan ang sinasabi dahil biglang nagsalita na si Ashley.

"No. I'm in love with you Tan. I just realized everything after you left me. I was so sad and hurt when you left me, Tan but what can I do? It was my decision."

"Ash--"

"After how many years, I saw you, finally Tan, finally! But you were with someone else, with Yca Salcedo. I know I don't have to be jealous 'cause I'm not in the position to be but I am just so in love with you"

Nagsimula na ulit na pumatak ang kaniyang mga luha.

"I know you won't love me back, Tan. You won't love me again but please, let me at least love you."

Natigilan siya nang hawakan ni Tan ang buhok niya at haplosin ito. Maya maya ay niyakap na siya nito.

She can feel his breath near her ears. It was giving her chills. She can feel Tan's hard chest and she can't help not to think how Theodore Antonio Macario grow as a fine young man.

"Ashley, baka naguguluhan ka lang" Tan's words seems to break her heart. Para bang ang kasunod nito ay magdudulot sa kaniya ng sobrang sakit.

"You just think you are in love with me when in the first place you're not. Noong umalis ako, nalungkot ka. Sinabi mo sa akin kanina na nasaktan ka noong umalis ako. Ashley, you were hurt because you depended on me way back then. I was always with you kaya nasanay ka na nasa tabi mo ako."

"You don't love me. You felt jealous 'cause I gave my attention to Yca Brianna. Noon kasi, nasanay ka na ikaw lang lagi, na ikaw lang at walang ibang kaagaw. Maybe, what you feel now is not love. You were just in love with the idea of being in love with me."

Napayuko siya at tuloy tuloy lamang ang pag-agos ng luha sa mata niya. Nasasaktan siya dahil inaakala nitong hindi niya ito totoong mahal. Alam naman niya sa kanuyang sarili na mahal niya ito.

What she felt right now is something different. When she told everyone that she was in love with Lance, the feeling was so good. But right now, it is really different, differently good. Para bang mas masarap ang pakiramdam nito. Ngunit mas masakit rin.

"I'm sorry Ashley. Go home, magpahinga ka na. Sana maisip mo ang lahat ng sinabi ko. Find your true love. I'm not that one. Don't let this fake love drown you. Bye" Tan close the door of his unit. And all she could ever do is to stare at his door with her heart breaking into pieces .

----Azi says-----

Walang scenes na pumasok sa utak ko. I'm sorry again for this chapter. Bumibilis na ang mga pangyayari kasi napep-pressure akong matapos 'to. I am in the middle of giving this story up. Para kasing ayoko na ituloy. But then, sayang ang pinaghirapan ko.

Anyway, don't mind this. Love lots!