conflict || jjk x Bts

chapter 2

Jungkook pov :

I am now standing in front of jin hyung who's fuming in anger, he stood in front of the kitchen's counter giving me glares that could kill.

" oh my ", I thought, but I didn't want to show him that I was scared even though I knew that I could just pee in my pants at any given moment, I never saw this side of jin before, he rarely got mad at me nor raised his voice at me whenever we bickered but I think it's because it was never too serious.

I snapped out of my thoughts once I felt that the diary was being aggressively snatched out of my hands.
I raised my head because I was keeping it down the entire time out of instinct, but flinched when jin screamed at me ;

Jin: " How dare you Jungkook ?!, for the love of god how did you muster up the audacity to do such a thing ?! ".

I looked at him in the eyes, as my senses suddenly became more heightened, fear coursed through my
Veins, my mouth felt excruciatingly dry, and beads of sweat trickled down my forehead.

My feet couldn't budge at all, I was stilled in place, incapable of moving an inch of my body, a heavyweight fell upon my shoulders as the seriousness of the situation dawned on me.

I felt conflicted, I didn't know what to do, so I just pathetically stood there refraining from moving and speaking, until jin's voice shattered the awkward silence by lowering it an octave which was extremely bizarre because he was screaming at the top of his lungs two seconds ago.

Jin: " jungkook, tell me with all honesty why you did this, and just for your information I'm not messing around with you so get a hold of yourself and answer me, it's an order". He asked locking eyes with me making chills run down my spine.

I was put in a tight spot so I had no other choice but to simulate courage and answer ;

Jungkook: "you do know exactly why jin hyung, you were the one who read my diary fi-"

I couldn't even finish my sentence when Jin suddenly started storming towards me with heavy steps and grabbed me by the collar raising me from the ground . " you messed up real bad " I screamed at myself.

Jin's breathing was hectic, he looked extremely troubled trying to keep his calm but it was futile.

Jin: " how immature can you be huh jungkook? It's not because I always joke around with you that you can just cross the line, and for your information, I haven't seen anything of your stupid diary it's not like I care after all, and I'm the oldest here so you better respect me, you spoiled brat. "
he proceeded to put me down and nonetheless continued ;

Jin: "I do not tolerate such foolish deeds especially coming from you, and if you flipped through my diary then you already know what I said about you in there, let me remind you if you don't remember: he's such a brat, acting like a baby when he's all grown up, what a clingy bastard ... the list is endless Jungkook.
jeez! Are you happy now? Wanted to know what my diary contains? Well, now you know. You really should have just focused on yourself instead of being nosy, you're such a nuisance ugh !!"

I was shocked quite literally, I never intended for it to go this way, I just wanted to act like I was gonna read it because when I thought about it, I realized that it was a bad idea, so I made sure he saw me taking his diary and ran with it to the kitchen.
I intended to tell him that it was a joke afterward, but of course, I had to be deceived, it couldn't have gone well, and I still can't believe that that's what Jin thinks of me, it completely shattered my heart.
But what hurts the most, is the fact that he's not even a tiny bit curious about what his dongsaeng is hiding, which clarifies the fact that he doesn't care about me. In addition, no one knows anything about my insecurities or my generalized anxiety or depression. No one ever notices, they don't even know how to make a comparison between a fake smile or a genuine one, it hurts, everything hurts.

I hate myself even more now, the small amount of hope I had had just been crushed down by none other than my hyung.

If jin thinks I'm an attention seeker then obviously everyone thinks so too. It's not my fault I left my family at the age of 14 to pursue my dream career, of course, I'd need lots of love and validation from them because I consider them a second family.
I truly am gonna cry rivers once this dispute ends but not in front of him of course . "stay strong" I reminded myself.
I snapped out of it and said ;

jk: " you know what Jin ?" I emphasized his name without adding the honorifics on purpose because I felt really angry and nothing could no longer stop me, so I repeated ;

Jk: "you know what jin ?, Wait, You probably don't cause you don't even know or understand your little brother Jin ".

I pressed on the letters of his name once again and I truly felt like shouting just then and there to get some of the agonizing pain I was feeling off my chest, but I didn't do that and went with pushing him with force to the counter behind him, knowing damn well that I was gonna regret it.

And I knew I fucked up the moment I heard the voice of the members who left to buy food say in unison ;

" JEON JUNGKOOK, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING !?!?! ".