conflict || jjk x Bts

chapter 3

Jungkook pov :

« oh my god I can't believe it, they just witnessed the worst part of our fight, what am I going to do? , I'm doomed » I thought panicked.

they rushed towards us one by one, carrying shocked and pissed expressions on their faces, I looked over at jin who fell to the floor because of my force while making pained facial expressions and releasing small grunts as he tried to get up.

« I fucked up this time, there's no going back, this is the worst thing I have ever done in the span of the time I spent living with the hyungs, and I'm sure today is gonna be hella troubling for I'm going to spend this whole day getting scolded, but so be it honestly, my life's already too fucked up as it is so there's no point in trying to fix it» I told myself.

I then snapped out of my thoughts when I heard namjoon say ;

Namjoon: " jeon jungkook, did You really push Jin Hyung just now or am I dreaming and I really hope I am ? Please tell me it's not true because I just can't seem to be able to process it, do you realize the gravity of your actions, it's just as if I'm talking to a five-year-old bratty kid, it's fucking unbelievable for real, did you perhaps forget the respect that you owe him the oldest and wisest person among us! this is unforgivable.
To solve disputes between the members we usually gather the ones who fought amongst each other in a room, make them hold hands forcefully to get them back on good terms. But it's impossible to do that today, where did the respect for the elders go? Did you perhaps forget that you should always respect jin no matter what? You're a mere kid compared to jin hyung ,  so how could you even have the guts to not only disregard the honorifics as if  Jin hyung is one of your friends but also hurt him! Did you lose your manners What on earth got into you ANSWER ME ! ".

Jungkook  I - ..... "

Jin: "No jungkook don't you even dare talk you guys want to know what happened ? " jin asked.

They all nodded their heads looking at jin and none of them even spared me a single glance, I felt like I wasn't even there.

Jin: " okay ". jin continued; so I just happened to once accidentally peek at his diary, because I caught him super focused and it spiked my burning curiosity, I didn't see anything , of course, I could care less but it turns out that, this kid was planning to avenge himself all along, and guess what? he had the audacity to literary sneak into my room, go through my stuff, and read my diary, my fucking precious diary, how did he even gather the courage to invade my privacy, isn't this pest quite brazen? Like for real, I can't even look him in the eyes now ". jin huffed as he turned his head to the side.

Jungkook:"But, jin hyung! Let me at least ex-"
I was once again cut off but this time by yoongi ;

Yoongi: " oh for fuck's sake just shut up jungkook don't you understand that whatever you say now wouldn't change a thing, everything went the way you wanted it to go after all,  and just so you know; sorry won't cut it out, I'm sure you're pretty aware of that ".

I looked at all their faces seeing the obvious disappointment on their features which made my heart sink, I disappointed them I thought, I am not only a failure, but I'm also good for nothing. I'm sure that they won't even give me a chance to speak and explain myself, I just wanted a hole to swallow me right away.
I lowered my head feeling my eyes brim with tears but I quickly held them in trying not to show any sign of weakness, because I honestly never cry in front of them, they only know the happy smiley jungkook but the real one, with no filters, they don't know him.

I looked up in surprise once I heard jhope growl, and it's not like I wasn't expecting to find him glaring at me with his jaw clenched like a rabid dog, which kinda made me feel unsafe.
" I'm not quite sure I can handle all of this at once, " I thought.
The two literal rays of sunshine of the group got angry at me on the same day, and seeing them mad is an extremely rare sight,  but knowing that I was the cause, killed me inside. But what caused me further devastation was jhope's next speech ;

Jhope: " how can you still be standing in front of us, do you feel no shame! , isn't it clear that no one wants to look at you after what you've done. Keep some of your dignity to yourself and go away please, you should probably go to your room and do whatever you want but just don't stay around us for now until you realize how much you fucked up today ".

I am literally on my breaking point, you could even compare me to a fragile mirror made of glass that would shatter with the slightest touch.  I'm in no way capable of handling all the hurtful things they've told me but I admit it was pretty childish of me in fact to do what I did today, so I screamed ;

Jungkook: " I'm sorry! Okay? But it's not fair that no one's willing to even listen to my side of the story !! ".

And just like that I quickly turned on my heels, ran out of the kitchen, and climbed the stairs at a fast pace with tears streaming down my face that almost had me collapsing like a rag doll down the stairs. But I quickly adjusted my footing and rushed with heavy steps to my room which is located by the end of the hallway.

As soon as I infiltrated my room, I immediately locked the door and fell on the floor sobbing hysterically, instantly spilling my heart's contents,  even though I tried my utmost best to muffle my sobs, it was futile because I knew damn well that this is me undergoing a breakdown; alone, cold and unwanted.

Instead of laying on the cold tiles, I decided to get up and go to the bathroom and lock myself in there as I kept crying, trying to push away the horrible thoughts that urged me to go back to my old habits, I eventually tried to avoid thinking about it, but unfortunately it didn't work, and that's how I figured out that I was gonna end up giving in to my previous fucked up way of coping.

A/n: sorry for the late update everyone, I was kinda busy but I hope you like it. This story will surely get better as time passes by, so please spread love and I'm thankful to all of my readers. Nothing can make me happier ❤