Growl || Reed900 ✔️

28

Gavin's POV:

My head pounds against my skull as I open my eyes. I'm... laying in my bed? I remember clearly that I had been in front of my door, being the sensitive piece of shit I was.

A sudden knock on the door breaks my thoughts. Looking towards the wooden exit, it opens slightly, revealing Conan.

Instead of feeling anger and hatred, I feel guilt and disappointment. We make eye contact and I can see now that I was being harsh on him.

"I-I just wanted to see how you were doing," he stumbles over his words, something new to me.

I lift my arm, motioning for him to come over to me. As soon as he sits on the bed, I crawl over and hug him. Guilt pools in my stomach as he hesitantly hugs me back. We stay like that for a good minute before I pull away.

"I'm... I shouldn't have acted like that. I acted like a child. You don't know what happened and why I acted that way. You only know what Hank told you and what the file said, if you even read it. I'm so... so sorry, Co. I know it doesn't make up for what I called you. It doesn't even begin to cover it. And I honestly don't know how you feel about staying with me anymore. I'm such an asshole to you and you put up with me every second. Any other person would've already left. I'm sorry for treating you like shit and I'm sorry for every single bad thing I've called you. You don't deserve that. You don't. You've honestly tried your best to help me, through everything. Through work and my home life. And all I've done is treat you like garbage. You deserve to work with someone who treats you like how you deserve to be treated. I don't get why you've decided to stay. Well actually, I don't think you have a choice. I don't get why you still treat me so well. I don't deserve that. You should be angry with me. Yelling at me. Staying at the department," I quiet down, keeping my head lowered.

I don't exactly want to hear his response. I think it's going to be something like yeah, I'm right for once. Then he leaves and I'm alone again. I expect to hear that I'm a low life asshole. I expect the worse, of course.

"You're right," he says, "you're a total piece of shit. You always get angry at me when I'm trying to help. You hated me without even getting to know me first."

There it is. That heart breaking moment where I know now that I've fucked up the rest of my life, again.

"But you want to know why I stay? Why I stick with you through this? I stay because I love you."

I look at him with shock and confusion in my eyes, "what? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you correctly. What the fuck did you just say?"

My heart beats rapidly as it had last night, but in a good way? I wanted to make sure I didn't hear him wrong. I wanted to make sure this wasn't a dream. I didn't want to accept it until he confirmed it.

"Before I explain, I want to say that I'm sorry. I should have never let myself touch you in such a harmful way. You have no idea how much I regret doing that, I am so sorry. And I said I stay because I love you. Although you may call me names, be disrespectful, and act like you hate me, I can see that you're still a good person. You try to hide your feelings but doing that just shows me how you really feel. I was talking to your mother, and I discovered that what I felt towards you wasn't exactly normal friend feelings. Yes, you may get on my nerves and hurt me a bit, I can't help what I feel. Feelings are not things you can control. I didn't expect to be able to feel this way, but here I am. They come naturally, whether you like it or not. I'm sorry if I misinterpreted your feelings, but I cannot help mine. I care for you a lot. I do understand if-"

"I love you too."

•How was this?•