Changing You ✦ 𝑍.𝐷.𝐻.

Chapter 36 {Z}

✦ ZACH ✦

I spent my lunch on the same spot I had done the first few weeks after I had moved here: sitting on top of a picnic table outside the school, alone.

But right now I felt way more lonely than I had all those other times before.

Maybe because the silence reminded me of what I had had, but mostly of what I had lost.

I hadn't realised before how badly I had got attached to her. I had never known you could get used to someone's presence so quickly. But the aching feeling inside my stomach made me more than aware of the fact that I missed her.

I missed waiting for her by her locker with a cheesy pickup line up my sleeve, that would make her lips curl up into a smile while she playfully rolled her eyes at me.

I missed the sound of her laugh when I cracked a stupid joke, and the twinkles that appeared in her eyes as her face lit up.

I missed looking at her and feeling this wave of happiness rush through my body.

I missed gazing into her brown eyes and feeling myself drown in the amount of care that she carried within them.

I missed how she made me forget about the responsibilities that rested on my shoulders: both of a hunter and an older brother.

I missed how she'd bring out the best in me.

I just missed her. Yes, I missed a werewolf. I knew I told her I couldn't love a monster like her, and I knew I definitely shouldn't, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't stop it.

But what we had had, was ruined now. And I was going to have to get used to the void she had left behind.

Besides her, and her werewolf friends, I hadn't really got to know people around here. It just hadn't been one of my priorities. And no, I definitely didn't consider Jordan as my friend.

The only others I had spent time with were the lacrosse players, but ever since my fight with Jackson and Peter in the school hallway they hadn't really been keen on me either.

So here I was, eating my lunch by myself. Actually, I wasn't even eating. I had thrown my sandwiches into the trash can minutes ago, since I couldn't get anything down my throat.

You did the right thing, I reminded myself, you're only breaking her heart to protect her. You don't have to feel guilty about that.

It felt like there was an iron fist clenched around my neck, and it was suffocating me. A feeling I was more than familiar with: choking on the feeling of guilt and regret. Two things that seemed to go hand in hand with each other, and had their steel fingers clasped around my throat most of the time.

Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I jumped off the wooden table. I vaguely heard the sharp ringing of the school bell, signalling that my next class was starting, but at this point I couldn't care less.

My feet brought me to the parking lot and led me to my car as a result of my mind telling me to go home. Taking the keys between my fingers, I unlocked the black old Jeep.

As the memory of our date came to the surface, I tightly clenched my jaw.

I recalled how I had taken her to a drive-in cinema to watch Bohemian Rhapsody in the back of my trunk, and the bright smiles that had been plastered on our faces throughout the entire night.