Mine // Sam Wilkinson

Part // XLVI

Claire's POV

I got up in the middle of night, careful not to wake Sammy up even though he was unconscious from all of the alcohol.

I went to wake Emma up, who was asleep on the couch.

"Em? Em, please."

"Claire, what time is it?"

"I know it's early... I just need you."

She immediately sat up and opened her eyes wide enough to see the tears already streaming down my face.

"Claire, what's wrong? What else happened?"

Right as she said that, Nate shot up, "Claire?" he rubbed his eyes.

"I'm sorry... I just - I didn't mean to - I just - I'm sorry. I know it's late..." I couldn't help but stutter.

"Claire, shut up. What's going on? Did Sam do something again?" Nate asked, standing up immediately. He was already sounding angry.

"No! He's still passed out. I'm just so... I'm tired of his drinking. He relies on it. He isn't the same..." I tugged the sleeves of my sweatshirt to cover my hands.

"Claire, can we be honest with you?" Nate looked at Emma, who wouldn't make eye contact with either or us.

I nodded, scared of what else would be said.

"I just don't know how to put this. When Sam went through his depression, drinking was his only solution. Every time he gets... upset enough, he goes straight for the bottles. I guess you could look at this as a sign that he knew he messed up. He loves you more than you know, Claire. I don't think you realize that. Ever since he met you back in August, I've never seen him like this. Like this, I mean loving someone as much as he loves you; he's never been so serious about a relationship before. He'll see something in a store and think of you. He smiles when we get in the car and the playlist you guys made blasts through the speakers. His drinking is just like your situation with..." he trailed off, knowing I couldn't handle hearing the name, "Anyway, it's just something you guys have to work through to get over. Is it worth breaking up over? I know what happened up there earlier after you guys went to bed wasn't what should've happened, but I can promise you that won't happen again."

I could see it in Nate's eyes that he meant every word. I put my knees to my chest, rethinking over what he just said. Emma wrapped her arms around me, pulling me in for a hug; Nate did the same but on the opposite side of me.

"It's just that," I wiped my cheeks, "he reminds me of Tyler when he drinks; everything tonight just brought back all of the memories of Tyler and I can't help but think of him becoming Tyler." I was crying harder than I realized. They both held me tighter as they said words that have always soothed me. Emma and Nate both began singing my favorite song that my grandma used to sing me to sleep with. Emma knew it always helped me.

After awhile of hugging them, I decided to quietly head back upstairs.

Sam and I would have the hardest conversation in the morning.