{Possible trigger warnings: bit of discussion about apocalypse/zombie stuff, swearing, sexual innuendos, panic attack mention
If I miss something, I apologize and please let me know}
"I'm just saying if we were in a zombie apocalypse, Roman would die first." Virgil shrugged. "That's a fact."
"I'm more than just a pretty face, jacka**." Roman stuck his tongue out. "I'd fully be able to survive a zombie apocalypse."
Virgil stirred whatever he was cooking for the others, shaking his head. "I've seen you around the house. You've tripped over thin air more times than I can count."
"I think I'd be more curious who would do well in a zombie apocalypse." Logan sipped his drink. "Because I'm not sure you'd do fantastically either, if I'm honest."
"Hey!" Virgil glared at him while Roman snickered.
"I dunno, Logan, Virgil's been going to the gym lately." Patton looked up from where he was chopping carrots. He had a comically bright blue band-aid over the cut on his nose today. "He's getting pretty strong."
"D*mn right." Virgil grinned. "I'm strong as f*ck, boy."
"Language, Vee."
Roman pouted as Virgil subsided into silence. "How come you never let me call you Vee?"
"You haven't known me since I was fourteen." Virgil rolled his eyes.
"I've known Virgil for-eeeeever!" Patton laughed. "But apparently not well enough to know about the glasses!"
"Well that's just because I hate them, I'm sure you realized my eyesight is sh*t at one point or another, when I forgot my contacts." Virgil ducked a carrot piece that was chucked at his head for swearing.
"Can we go back to where Logan said Virgil wouldn't survive a zombie apocalypse? I want to hear that." Roman propped his elbows up on the counter.
"I was simply going to point out that the stress of the situation could probably overwhelm him." Logan shrugged.
Virgil paused, then made a face. "Okay, you might be right. But I think I'd be able to get through it- remember the dog, Roman?"
"Of course I remember the dog, and the massive panic attack you had after we got home." Roman pointed out.
"Well yeah but in the moment, I was fine. And that would be the important part."
"So you're just going to freak out every night? There's no guarantee you'd have a place to sleep that's safe." Roman pointed out.
"I'd be fine. The point of the argument is that you'd die before me and that's all I care about." Virgil shrugged. "Patton, I'm ready for those carrots if you have them done."
Roman's phone began to buzz and he looked down at it, frowning at the unfamiliar number. Pressing the power button once to silence it, he turned it over and looked back at the others.
"I think it would be Patton first, then Roman, then you, then me." Virgil was telling Logan.
"You don't think I'd be able to outlast you?"
Virgil paused, eyeing him, then grunted. "I guess you probably could, now that I think about it."
Roman's phone buzzed again. He turned it over to see the same number as before.
He silenced it again and leaned forward on the counter. "I still want to know why I'd die earlier. I'm strong, I'm smart, and I'm fast! I could outlast you nerds- Oh my god, whoever is calling me needs to get the message! Or leave one."
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The Melting Pot Complex
Fanfiction'Looking for quiet roommate.' 'Located in quiet area.' 'Apartment has previously received noise complaints.' Virgil groaned and tossed his phone onto his bed, burying his face in his hands. He just needed an apartment that would be okay with his job...