Without You I'm A Lost Boy

Plans and Goodbyes

We pull up outside the hotel that Louis is calling home while he's here in Australia excited to start the next chapter of our lives together as 5 Seconds of Summer, or 5SOS as we call ourselves. There are about a hundred girls standing outside begging for Louis to come down, most of which are crying. We shimmy our way through the crowd as security makes their way out to tell the girls to leave because they are disturbing other people in the hotel, they whine for a few minutes but eventually they all leave. My mum makes her way to the front desk to ask for Louis' room.

"Excuse me sir but me and these boys have a meeting with Louis Tomlinson, what room is he in?"

"Ma'am I can't give out that information unless Mr.Tomlinson asks to do so. If you have his number you can ask him to call and give permission to the front desk." The man replies in a deep monotone voice.

I text Louis and tell him that he has to tell the front desk to let us up to his room and he calls and we get permission to go up, he's on the top floor so we take the elevator up and approach his door. I knock to let him know we're here and the door flies open.

"LADS!! Please come in, can I get you anything?" Louis shouts at us, obviously excited to see us.

"Hey Louis, nah we're fine, just ready to get this all figured out. It's such a big step in our career, before we start talking about anything has to call his mum, she wants to be in on what's going on. We don't have a manager, we have four mumagers." I laugh as I speak.

"Alright mates, well Luke go ahead and get mama Hemmings on the line and I'll conference call the guys and our manager." Louis says as she signals to sit around the phone.

Luke calls Liz and Louis calls Zayn, Niall, Liam, Harry, and their manager and we start making plans and talking over the dates. The tour is called 'Take Me Home' and it's a 129 show tour ending in Australia, we were opening in the UK, North America, Australia and New Zealand for them, they have two other openers for the other shows. The only countries we've been in other than our home country of Australia are American and London, and Calum has been to New Zealand to visit family, so this is all very exciting for us. We learn that the tour starts in about six months and we begin in London, every now and then our mums will chime in with questions that get answered completely lessening the worry on their minds.

After everything is set up we move on from business to fun and tell Louis we can show him around our hometown in Western Sydney, and he agrees saying he'll do the same before the tour starts. Louis says we could ride in his car with him since our mums want to return home, so we all get in the back of the SUV that transports Louis and his girlfriend. We show him our old school and the park where we all played as kids, we take him to the ice cream shop that we spent all our time at after school and before practice. We took Louis all over the city where we grew up showing him all the small things that held so many memories for us, our last stop was the pub where we sang all the time, we talk to the owner, who remembers us fondly, and he agrees to let us sing a few songs for old time sake since we aren't staying in Sydney much longer.

With everything going on I had though about Alison's death less, I still hurt so much, but this chance is huge for the band and Alison wanted us to live our dreams and I'm doing this for her, I'm going to make my angel proud, I will cry less and smile more Alison. I would do anything for her in life and death, I still feel this pit of pain and darkness inside but I promised Alison I wouldn't fall into the pit and shut out the world.

***********

I woke up early knowing today is the day I leave my mum again for a long time, I barely got any sleep, tossing and turning knowing how upset it makes me to be away so long. I get an idea and get out of bed and throw on some sweat pants and leave my bedroom, I see my mum sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, I can see she's been crying, I walk to her side and kneel.

"Mum, don't cry, it kills me to see so much pain in your face. I love you so much mum. Move to America, you and dad, I'll pay your rent and bills just please move mum. I hate not being able to see my own mother when I need her most, like when my girlfriend kills herself, I need to be closer to you and dad mum. Please." I began to sob and I lay my head on her leg, she just rubbed the hair on the back of my head down.

"Michael, baby I want nothing more than to be closer to you. I'll talk to your father about it and I'll try my hardest to get him to move, baby I'll move to America for you, just please stop crying Mikey, it'll all be okay." She just whispers back.

I wipe my eyes and stand up and wrap my mum in an embrace that doesn't last long enough, I need to pack up for my flight tonight so I shuffle off to my room and start packing back up. After my dad gets home we load up and go get each of the boys and head to the airport for our long flight back to America, I hate saying goodbye to my mum, she cries so much and it breaks my heart. As we board the plane we see Louis in front of us and say a quick hello before taking our seats, the goodbyes have us all so emotional that we're not much for small talk, something we all have in common that strengthens our friendship is we know each other so well that we don't need to talk, we just know.

After another long fourteen hour flight Liz is at the airport to pick us up, as soon as she comes into view Luke drops his things and runs to her wrapping his long arms around her and squeezing her tight, I grab Luke's things and we head to the car and fall asleep as soon as we're all in and buckled up, Liz takes us to her house and sets up three extra places for us to sleep before waking us up. We make our way half asleep to the basement and place our bags in a corner before we all climb into our makeshift beds that are lovingly put together, after we all are covered up Liz turns off the light and we all fall back asleep in no time.