Without You I'm A Lost Boy

Michael Clifford

*Michael's POV*

I take a deep breath as I pull up at my girlfriend Alison's small apartment, I park beside her small powder blue Volkswagen Beetle, I chuckle at the memory of her picking it out at the dealership, she only got the blue one because its my favorite color. I reach for the door of my glove compartment with a shaky hand, I pop it open and grab the small velvet box containing the ring I'm going to propose to her with tonight, its not the biggest ring but its all i could afford. I've known that I love her since I seen her in the hallway at school on the first day of freshman year, she has the most captivating blue eyes, short hair that never stays the same color for long, she is the most caring person I've ever met, even though she has pretty bad depression I know she can get better with help, and I intend to be there every step of the way. I go over my proposal speech again in my head before stepping out of my car, I take one more deep breath as I make my way to the door placing the ring box in my pocket.

I fumble with my keys to find the one that fits her door, I can hear crying but I'm not alarmed as Alison has been crying a lot lately so I take my time with opening the door. I walk in and close the door quietly behind me, I notice five envelopes on her kitchen table marked 'Mikey, Luke, Ash, Cal, and Sarah & Joe' I begin to panic and look around for Alison, I hope she hasn't done anything to herself. As I turn I see her on her knees beside her bed, tears poring down her beautiful face, I'm frozen in place as I see the gun in her shaking hand pressed to her temple, I can't breath or think, I open my mouth but nothing comes out for what seems like an million years.

I finally manage to yell "Alison, no!" She looks over to me as her finger pulls the trigger back all the way and the hammer clicks. I run to her and I feel like I'm barely moving, I wrap my arms around her lifeless body as I sob, I pull out my phone and dial 911.

"911 What's your emergency?"

"My girlfriend just shot herself in the head, I don't think she's breathing, please help."

"Okay sir, an ambulance is on its way to your location what apartment are you in?"

"Umm...13B" "Okay sir, help will be arriving shortly, please stay on the line until they arrive."

"Okay, just please help, I can't lose her"

After seven minutes two EMT's bust through the door and I immediately move away so they can help, I'm still crying very hard. They lift her on a gurney and rush her into the back of the ambulance and I hope in beside them, she's still alive for now, they work on helping her as we make our way to the hospital. We arrive in the ER and I'm told to have a seat and someone would get me new clothes as mine were covered in Alison's blood, I sit in the first open seat and put my head in my hands as a new wave of tears washes over me, I'm startled by a hand on my shoulder as a nurse brings me some clothes to change into and bag for the blood stained ones. I quickly make my way to the bathroom to change, the clothes are a bit small on my six foot tall slim body but its better than sitting in the love of my life's blood.

After I make my way back to the waiting room I pull out my cell phone and text my band mates Luke, Calum, And Ashton to rush to the hospital, they all say their on the way and slink back into my seat as I wait. I can't help but to think if I hadn't had took my time opening her door, or if I hadn't took so long in the parking lot Alison wouldn't be at the hospital dying right now. I pull my knees up to me in my seat and bury myself into them as I sob loudly, I'm jolted back to reality when I feel three sets of strong arms wrap around me, I look up and there stands my best friends and band mates Luke, Cal, and Ash. I stand up and they all re-wrap their arms around me as I begin to collapse, I can't believe that Alison shot herself, they let me sob into their chests.