Ash

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Ashton,

Other than Mikey's letter this is the hardest one to write, you have been there for me when I needed someone. You know things about me that no one else does, like the cutting and I know that this will be a struggle but please keep the promise you made me that night years ago, to NEVER pick up a blade again. I know that all this will bring you so much pain that you'll want to hide it so you can be strong for the boys because you're the oldest, but its okay to not be strong, its okay to cry and scream and break stuff, just please don't hurt yourself. You have been the protective big brother every girl deserves, and you are the man that any girl would be so very lucky to call her own, you deserve the world. I know that the other guys don't know how bad you hurt sometimes, but I do and I just want you to know that you are amazing in every single way. I want you to never stop playing those drums, you play with such passion and it makes me so proud, you are the 'dad' of the band and the boys look up to you so much, don't let everything fall apart when I'm gone, and don't be afraid to break down, the boys will understand and comfort you. You were my rock, my support, and I love you so much.

Goodbye Ash.

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