Where There's Smoke

Fatherhood Party Of

Roman's POV

As I held Eva all I could think about was everything it took to get her here. One night we were laying in bed. I could feel her tossing and turning. She only did that when she had a lot on her mind. I waited a while to see if she would stop before asking her what's going on. She continued on. I draped my arm over her and pulled her closer to me. I turned my head toward her and we just stare at each other. "Would you like to talk?" I asked. She nodded and sat up in our bed. "What's on your mind?" I sat up too.
    "I was just thinking."
    "Just thinking doesn't cause nearly 3 hours of tossing and turning." I stared at her.
    "You know how somethings we shelf until later?" She had seemed nervous.
    "Yeah, what's keeping you up?"
    "Last yeah we talked about a family. I want to revisit that."
    "Oh." I started playing with my hands.   "Okay let's talk about it.
    "You know how I got my IUD out a few weeks ago." I nodded. "Well I've been think a lot about it again." She said

   "Starting a family?" I verified.
    "Yeah."
    "Are you tired of just you and me?" I asked.
    "No, it's just been the two of us for 5 years. I think I want more. I'm not saying it has to be tomorrow. I just think we're ready to have a baby. I'm where I want to be at my job now, you have found a rhythm with your dad, and we have all these rooms." She pointed out.
    "Yeah, we do. That's what I said to wait for. Are you sure you want to have a baby, would babysitting more often satisfy that baby craving?" I asked.
    "I mean while we watch Isaac yeah, but I hate giving him back." She looked sad.
    "Is this because of Leo and Leena?" They announced their pregnancy recently.
    "No, I really just want to be a mom. Why are you so reluctant?" She asked.
    "I'm not ready to share you. When a baby comes it's going to be all about the baby."
    "That's why you're worried? You don't want to have to share me? You'll have to eventually."
    "No." I smiled.
    "You don't want a physical representation of our love." I knew she really wanted this.
    "When you put it that way." I held her hand
    "It would be the best possible combination of us." She edged on.
    "Well then."
    "I don't want to do it if you're not completely on board. I want us to both want a baby. I don't want you to agree just to make me happy. It's okay if you're not ready Roman. We can wait until you're ready."
    "I wouldn't have to wear condoms any more. I hate using condoms with you. I really do."
    "Yes, working in a baby means no more condoms."
    "I want to think about it some more time to think. I'm not saying no. I'm just saying let me process."
    "Ok." She nodded. I remember when Janae had given up on trying and I was broken about it. I had to end up going to Gianni. I walked in my brother's house and went to the living room where he was housed since he couldn't do stairs. Angelo usually was here during the day, but he had things to do today. The game was on so I assumed he was somewhere around here. "Hey." He looked up from the couch. "Where's Z?"
    "Mom and Dad took her out for the day. What brings you by?" I answered. I looked at a baby picture of my niece that was on the mantel. I was starting to wonder if Janae and I would ever be parents. "Hey what's going on? What's bothering you?" He asked.
    "Janae's pregnancy test came back negative." I sighed.
    "Oh, well try again." He looked over at me.
    "We have been for the past 7 months. Do you know how many negative test we've seen?"
    "I'm sorry bro. I didn't know. Have you guys made sure that you're both healthy enough to have kids?"
    "She got checked out when we first started trying. I was there. The doctor said she is healthy enough and that she is able to. I had my usual physical not too long ago."
    "No Roman, you should get checked out too. It might not be happening because something might not be up to par with you." He said.
    "What do you mean? I'm fine Gianni. I'm too young to have erectile dysfunction and I guarantee that's not the problem we're having."
     "You aren't though. I'm not saying you're having problems getting it up, I'm saying you might have a low sperm count. You have a pool, but not enough swimmers." I smirked and kissed Eva's cheek. I set her in her car seat since Tristan was here to get her. After he left my phone went off. I saw the reminder for Janae's showcase. I decided to go. I drove to her school and walked into the auditorium and stood against the wall. I looked around saw Janae's family sitting in the front. I stood against the wall holding the flowers I got for her. Nikki introduced her and she walked on stage and look breath taking. She looked like she was singing to a specific person toward the front. I looked to see who and felt my anger bubble up. I saw Dominic and Valentin. I looked at the stage and watched her. Her voice was so beautiful. I missed her so much. I handed the flowers to one of the teachers to give to her for me and left before she saw me.