Grizzam (The Society) One-Shots

I Wish I Could Go Back-Part 4

Tuesday afternoon continued

"You need to forgive yourself." Sam repeated, taking Grizz's hand and giving it a firm squeeze.

His eyes held all of the emotion in the world, as did Grizz's. Grizz's were watery and held a look of fear in them almost. Sam wasn't sure as to why. The temperature had seemed to rise in the room, and Grizz's hand held Sam's firmly, it was shaking slightly.

"I just need to know for sure that you forgive me. I can't... I can't handle the idea of you not having forgiven me."

Sam sighed, "how can I?"

Grizz thought for a moment, entirely unsure. He still held a lot of resentment towards himself, glancing down at their intertwined hands. They looked oddly perfect, Sam's freckled complexion contrasted to his own milky white skin. Like coffee and cream, beautifully mixed. It made Grizz's heart skip a beat. He glanced up at Sam, the temperature in the room seeming to rise as he found himself glancing at his lips. They were beautifully plump and in truth, Grizz had pictured kissing those lips many times, that was what confirmed his sexuality to him in reality. He felt himself leaning in, as if some magnet was attached to them both and pulling him closer to Sam, his lips were ghosting over Sam's, and Sam wasn't pulling away. Grizz felt the ghost of Sam's breath against his lips, and it made his heart pound relentlessly and his head spin.

But sadly, his actions were interrupted by his phone buzzing relentlessly in his pocket.Grizz pulled away reluctantly. "Sorry, my phone." He said, giving Sam an apologetic look.

He glanced at his phone and let out a sigh, "It's my mom." He said, signing mom. "I forgot, she wanted me to come to dinner tonight." He spoke slowly.

Sam let out a sigh. "You should go then, if you already agreed to."

Grizz shook his head, speaking slowly, "I'm not sure. Things didn't go to well last time I saw her. I tried to come out but it didn't go well. It's going to be awkward as hell. That's why I'm staying in a hotel."

Sam gave him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, she'll come around. If you don't want to, luckily you're an adult and you don't have to. But, maybe she'll see things differently now? That she's had some time?"

Grizz shook his head, "She refused to believe it."

"Then you've got to find a way to make her see you for you. Once you do, she'll come around. It was hard for a lot of us, you were very convincing for awhile."

Grizz chuckled, "She noticed early. So she tried to straighten me out. I guess she's in denial." An idea struck him then. "Would you uhm... would you want to join me? Maybe help me out with this? She'd love to see you anyway. It might make things easier."

Sam's eyes went wide, "you want me to join you and your mother for dinner? I uhm... I wouldn't mind, I don't have anything planned. But uhm.. Would you want to just pretend then? That I'm your boyfriend or something? I don't exactly get it."

Grizz could tell Sam had taken it the wrong way. "It isn't pretending really. For now, kinda. But uhm.. hopefully eventually it won't be pretending any longer." Sam smiled. "You in?"

Sam nodded, his heart was skipping every other beat at Grizz's words

. ***

Sam was fidgeting relentlessly at Grizz's side as they stood outside the front door of Grizz's childhood home

."I'm just nervous I guess, and this isn't even technically real or whatever. I just." He sighed. "I'm nervous I haven't spoken to your mother in years and this is like a second coming out for you and I don't want to ruin it or be a nusensce. Do I look okay?"