The feeling

Chapter 13

Two weeks later...

"No...stop..No.." Meryl said in her sleep. It had been like this for the last few days. She would have a nightmare every night about the same thing. Don tried to get Meryl to talk about it but she refused.

'It's embarrassing'... 'don't worry I'm fine it's a silly nightmare'.... 'I'll go sleep in the other room'. These were the phrases she would say to him when he brought it up.

Tonight though was tough. She was kicking and moving around. It didn't bother him before but now she's getting physical. Just as Don was gonna wake her she sat straight up and put her face in her hands.

"Are you alright?" Don asked putting his hand on her back.

She gave him a look and said, "I just want to sleep like a normal person. I don't want to have nightmares anymore. It's draining me". Her lip trembling and hands shaking from her night terror. Don wished it was him rather than her having nightmares. She had already been through too much.

"Maybe we should go see a doctor?" Don said trying to make her feel better. "If you keep having nightmares like this it's gonna make you not want to sleep. And if you don't sleep you'll practically kill yourself. I hate seeing you like this, I miss my upbeat Meryl. It's been a while since I've seen her".

"Maybe a doctor would be good. Like a therapist or someone I can talk to about my nightmares. They're dark and vivid memories from last year. Some are from what happened 2 weeks ago. And I feel like it would be a bad idea if I told you about them. I don't want you to think anymore less of me. I want to start being the woman I was. I hate myself right now; I can't close my eyes without seeing him. And when I lay down I can feel his dead weight on me. I have a hard enough time trying to fall asleep; than I get these dreams. I can't take much more of it." Meryl said choking on her last statement.

Don looked into her eyes and could see her pain. She couldn't sleep and it was completely tearing her apart. "I say we call in a few hours and get you in to see someone. I completely agree with you about talking to me. I'm not enough to help you through this." Don told Meryl with her wiping her tears. "We'll get through this hun. It's just another bump in the road that we have to go over. I'll be there for you always."

Meryl nodded and kissed him on the lips. He kissed her back and savored the moment they were sharing. Neither of them had felt like this in so long. At this moment in time, Meryl didn't think of David. She had forgotten all about him. That's what don's love does to her. Makes her forget about everything bad in the world. She loved feeling like this; feeling like everything in her life was perfect. As their kisses intensified Don had a sense of clarity.

Don broke apart from her lips to try and talk to her. "Meryl...mmmmm." Meryl pushed her lips back on his as they both moaned. She moved to straddle his hips and put her hands in his biceps. Don broke away from her and she just kept kissing him. His cheeks, jaw, and neck were the main places she had kissed. Don had stopped her and made her look at him.

"Meryl I think it's to soon. I don't want to cause you anymore pain. I think by doing this it could effect you in a bad way. I love you too much to do that." Don said sincerely.

"I know." Meryl said getting off him and laying back down. "I'm just so frustrated and need to do something to relax me. Maybe the doctor can help more."

*******

The sun came up about 2 hours later and Meryl was the first awake. The sun was peeking through the curtains and onto her face. She rolled over so her face wasn't in the sun. Don was facing her but was still asleep. She watched him sleep peacefully only wishing she could do the same. Meryl got up and put on her robe over her pajamas. She went over to the door and opened it and shut it quietly behind her. She went downstairs and turned the television on and laid on the couch. 'Good Morning America' was on and she went to get something to eat. She found a banana on the kitchen counter and went back to sit on the couch.