36 Questions: A Joanne Fanfiction

Question Nineteen:

If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

Thankfully, Joe had proved to be a strong enough matador to take them through to the next week, despite getting up on the wrong knee. Dianne had woken up on the wrong side of bed that morning, and was concerned about the next dance. She knew how much Joe wanted to make it to Blackpool, and was determined to get him there, no matter what it took. But the samba was tough, even for her so she couldn't help but be worried for him and how this would affect him.

Joe, on the other hand, was feeling guilty. After his barely noticeable mistake at the weekend, he was determined to prove that he was worthy of staying in the competition and of getting them both to Blackpool. Now that they were a week away, it was beginning to seem almost possible, and he was desperate to lead them over that final hurdle. He arrived early at the studio that morning, ready to start the week with a positive attitude, and even had time to buy the two of them some coffees.

By lunchtime, however this positive attitude was long gone, having been replaced with a mixture of hunger and frustration. Dianne thankfully noticed this quickly, and suggested they took a much needed break.

"This is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be." He admitted quietly, as Dianne finished her sandwich.

She nodded. "It's one of the most difficult ones. As Latin dances go, it's as hard as it gets."

"It's hard, because I guess I expect myself to be getting better by now, we're quite a way into the competition and I'm still just dad dancing. It's like I'm back to square one each week, and it's exhausting, especially with this dance."

"Exactly. But it's the same with every dance. I get what you mean though, the samba isn't often the celebrities' favourite dance."

He smiled, feeling slightly reassured. "Oh okay, it's not too bad that I can't do this one then."

"Well not exactly. It is typically more low scoring from the judges, they'll still be harsh on you, especially with Blackpool next week." She said, sounding slightly stressed.

"It's still only Monday." He reminded her, in an attempt to reassure them both.

"True, true." She agreed, not wanting to burden Joe with any of her stress when she could see that he was struggling herself.

"Do you want to do the next question? If I'm going to be out this week then we've got a lot to get through!" he joked, smiling at her reaction.

"Joeeee don't say that! You'll jinx it! But yeah, I'm up for another question. We don't want to dance right now anyway, we'll end up with indigestion." She replied, convincing herself more than Joe that this was what they should do, despite the fact she was desperate to keep dancing, and make some actual progress.

"Are you sure? It's your turn first." he asked, sensing her impatience to continue rehearsing.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Yeah, I'm sure."

He nodded, and took out his phone from his bag next to him.

"Right, if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?" he read quickly, conscious of the time that they were potentially wasting.

She laughed at the question in embarrassment. "I don't know what I'd do if I knew I only had a year to live, there's so much that I'd like to accomplish before I die, there is absolutely no way I would manage to do everything that I want to. That's stressing me out a lot now I think about it." She confessed. "I'm fairly happy with my day to day life now, but for that to be it? No, I wouldn't like that at all."

He nodded, before asking the question again in order to steer his partner on track, rather than simply stress her out. "What would you change then?"

She thought for a moment. "I'd probably quit work. I love to dance and I can't see myself voluntarily stopping for no reason, but at the same time it takes up a lot of my life, and with only a year left I would need all the time I can possibly get if you know what I mean? Also, I'd travel more, see more of the world, spend more time with my family, I'd probably move back to Oz. I think I'd have to let go of my dream to get married and have kids, because I wouldn't be able to see them grow up, and I wouldn't want them to grow up without a mother if I can help it. I'd say goodbye to my family, and be content that they know exactly how much they mean to me, so I guess something that I would change would be to tell people more about how much I value them. Umm I'd also spend more of my money, and try to do more different things out of my comfort zone, as I don't want to die knowing that I could have done more."

"They're all good things. I'd probably do something similar."

"Really? Why's that?"

"I don't really know why, it just seems the sensible answer. You aren't going to change your entire life in a year, you've just kind of sped up when those things would happen in your life."

"Exactly. I'm content right now, obviously there are some things that I'd change or whatever but I'm not unhappy now, so why bother changing everything?" she asked.

He nodded in agreement. "That's a good point. You're wiser than you realise you know?"

She smiled, leaning against the sofa to face her partner. "Thank you. What about you, if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?" she recited.

"Yeah of course I would change a few things. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't." he told her.

"What would you change then?"

"Well I'd give up on this samba for a start." He joked, watching as Dianne rolled her eyes in response.

"Answer it properly." She laughed.

"I wouldn't actually give up on the samba, I'd really treasure this opportunity more and enjoy every minute of it. Not that I don't do that already, but yeah. If this is one of the last things I'm going to do I want to do it well. " He said sincerely.

She smiled softly, thrilled that this meant so much to him. "What else?"

"I'd spend more time with my family, I'd take more risks, and I'd travel as much of the world as I can. I wouldn't feel pressured to upload videos as much and I'd see my friends more. I would also try more things that I find scary like skydiving or hot air ballooning and more adventurous things like that, things that I've always said that I want to do but haven't worked up the courage for. I think I'd like to work more on what I leave behind. I'd make sure that Margravine is properly set up, and finalise everything with that, so I would be able to slip away and disturb people in the smallest way possible." He paused. "This is a lot harder than I thought it would be you know? Talking about death and we're not even at question twenty." He remarked, despite feeling slightly shocked at the casual manner they had both discussed their answers.

She laughed, deciding to keep the conversation light-hearted after sensing that Joe was struggling to articulate this question, so she decided to let him off. "I know! I dread to think what question thirty six will be if they're already this deep."

"Exactly." He replied, a slightly worried look on his face. He couldn't figure out what else his friend could possibly learn about him in the rest of the second half of the questions.

"Although I must say, neither of us would never have answered that question three weeks ago. Maybe as we get closer to thirty six it won't feel like too much of a leap?" she said, although she had felt the slight step up in intimacy of the recent questions she still found herself comfortable to answer them with him. It was comforting to find that she could discuss these topics with Joe, and get back to work straight after without it affecting them too much. She was grateful to have Joe in her life, and little did she know he felt the same.

"Yeah, maybe." He said, interrupting her thoughts.

"Anyway," she said, dusting herself off and standing up. "We've got a samba to do, and those voltas won't learn themselves."