36 Questions: A Joanne Fanfiction

Question Thirty-Five:

Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find the most disturbing? Why?

It was the big day. Joe was absolutely bricking it, now that he was within touching distance of the final he only found that he wanted it more. But he knew it was going to be tough, and looking around at his fellow competitors, he still felt the outsider. It was getting easier though, especially knowing the others so much better than he had on those opening weeks. As if sensing his imposter syndrome, Dianne squeezed his hand gently, before turning back to focus on the current eliminations rehearsal. He smiled gently at this, squeezing back in response. Little did she know, these small, almost insignificant gestures she did were one of the reasons he'd fallen for her. She could read him well enough to tell when he wasn't quite right, and would do her best to help him in subtle ways. From checking up on him, making sure he'd eaten, buying him a coffee in the morning, to looking after him in sickness and reassuring him of his worth whenever he lost his way. In fact, she'd done far more for him than a partner, or even a good friend ever needed to. Before his thoughts this way spiralled any further again, he hurriedly focused his attention to the rehearsal.

It was a little while after the rehearsal now, and the two were currently backstage waiting for the show to begin. They were tucked away from the others, who were chatting in the middle of the room, they instead were in the back corner, talking quietly rather than work themselves up further with the other's nervous energy. "You alright Joe?" she asked, having picked up on his quieter mood.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm just really nervous." He admitted quietly. 

"For any reason in particular?" she pressed, having become accustomed to his normal level of nervousness and detecting that this was not it.

"I'm just a bit frustrated. We're almost at the end of the competition but I'm still absolutely terrified, and that hasn't changed. I thought by now I'd feel a little more comfortable about the prospect of dancing in front of the country, but I haven't. I'm sorry, you don't need to be dealing with me like this, I know it's stupid. I've done it before, I'll be fine." He explained, and although this was all true, he knew this wasn't the only reason why he was so nervous.

He'd put extra pressure on himself that night, not that he was going to tell her this. If they got through, he'd vowed to man up and tell her tonight. After his conversation with Stacey the previous day, Joe had made his decision. However much this was about to affect their friendship, he'd been reassured by her that this was the right thing to do. With two more questions to go, he'd found the perfect way to tell her, even if he had broken their promise of not reading ahead. Still, every time he looked at his dance partner, he couldn't help but feel a rush of uncontrollable nerves travel through him. 

"Joe. Look at me. Breathe."

He took a deep breathe shakily, and finally met her eyes.

"You are not in any way stupid for being nervous still. In fact, I'd be worried if you weren't nervous, if you weren't nervous then it just shows that you don't really care and I know that's not the case. Yes you've done it before, but that doesn't always make it easier." She said sincerely, trying her best to reassure him that this was alright.

"I think I'm nervous about the routines too. Especially the Argentine tango. I love it, I really do, but I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"I mean, it's got that moment. I love that part, don't get me wrong. But it's a risk. Especially after that interview the other day, I don't want the British public to only vote for us due to the 'strictly curse' and I don't want the judges to think that we're only using the rumours and the press as a way for us to have an advantage in the public vote." he said, voicing a fear that he didn't realise he'd had until that moment.