Always find me ~ ChanLix

4

Shit!

"Look, mom, I just went to say hi to Chlo-"

"I'm pretty tired, I think I'm going to head up to bed now. Thanks for dinner Felix." His mom stands up abruptly from her seat and leaves, leaving her son with his racing mind.

"Fuck..." Felix mumbles under his breath as he lets his head fall into his hands. The broken son stays silent at the dinner table as the two plates before him go cold.

——

That night, after he cleared the table and put the leftovers away, Felix fell onto his bed; letting it engulf him in it's fluffy magnificence.

I'm so fucking done with this day.

Bzzt......Bzzt......

Felix whips his phone out of his back pocket while his face and body are still firmly planted into his duvet. Without looking at the notifications, he throws it to the side. He meant for it to land on the other side of the bed, but he overshot and heard a light thud on the ground.

I'm too tired to look at my phone right now. I'll get it tomorrow...

Slowly, Felix lulls himself to sleep with thoughts of being able to sink into the ground and disappear. Many of his nights are spent like this. Today was a day no different from the others. Despite the ups he had, the downs which countered were enough to overpower them all. Especially the look on his mother's face, one of disappointment and a hint of frustration.

It's okay Felix, it's okay Felix, it's okay Felix...

____________________________

Beep...Beep...Beep...

"Uuuggghhh..." Felix pulls the covers over his head, trying to block out the noise coming from his alarm.

The electronic alarm continues to blare into his ears. The annoyed boy reaches for his nightstand to shut his phone alarm off, when he remembers how he threw his phone off his bed the previous night.

"Uuunnnhhh." Felix groans and shoots his head out from under the covers.

"Welp, at least it Friday..."

Felix finishes getting ready and is about to leave when he picks up his phone and sees the notification he missed the other night.

"Buy your tickets now! They're going quickly! Be one of the lucky people to see Stray Kids at their first concert in Sydney Australia!"

"Right, I almost forgot. How unfortunate that I remember."

____________________________

Second period

"Alright class, I'm giving you today and next week to finish these paintings." Mrs. Green announces.

"That means, Derek, I see you drawing a penis on your canvas so if you're not going to do anything better, I'm expecting some high quality realism." You can hear laughs all around the classroom.

Mrs. Green was Felix's favourite teacher, even though he's never really talked to her before. She was a really cool, not just teacher, but person. She looks to be in her early thirties or so.

She assigned the class the task of painting something that made them feel emotion. It wasn't a specific or simple project. Many things make you feel emotions. It's a matter of what emotions you wish to represent and with what will you represent them with.

You could paint your mom, say she gives you the emotion of happiness. You could paint your dead dog, say it gives you the emotion of sadness. You could paint a box of spiders, say it gives you the emotion of fear.

For Felix, he chose an emotion which he felt and thought about in a very sensible and realistic way. How he chose to represent this emotion, was with a painting that could be interpreted depending on your view. Felix was amazing at creating works of expressionism. Some could say it was simply a dark painting with minimal detail. Some could say there's a person standing in the far back, maybe even multiple around the dark void.

Felix is so lost in his painting, he doesn't even realize the others in the class were already beginning to clean their brushes. Strokes of black paint topple over each other.

Not dark enough...

Felix keeps on stroking the brush over the already painted surface over and over again. No matter how much black paint he laps on, it isn't enough.

His breathing becomes heavy and his movements quicker. He strikes faster and faster. If you hadn't known he was painting, it'd probably sound like he was doing something unrighteous. It was like an artful murder. His brows furrowed and the look in his eyes was something else.

"Felix!"

Felix whips his head around and his headphones fall out of his ears. He sees Mrs. Green staring at him with concerned eyes. The class stops what they're doing and look his way.

"See me after class, please."

____________________________

"Felix..."

Mrs. Green is currently sitting at her desk while Felix stands nervously in front of her.

"I'm not sure what's going on with you, but I want you to know that you don't have to be so closed off to everyone. Alright?" Concern laced her words. Felix keeps his gaze geared towards the ground.

"I heard some kids talking about you earlier, but I'm not going to force you to talk to me if you don't want to. Just know that if there's something you need to get off your chest, you can tell me. I don't want to hear about your life from other people. Be it about what happened a year ago before you came back, or even about your fathe-"

"Thank you!... Mrs. Green. I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. Really." Felix cuts his teacher off and tries to get out of the awkward situation as soon as possible.

"... Alright. I'll let you get to lunch now." Felix takes this as a queue and leaves.

"One more thing." Mrs. Green calls out to Felix before he steps through the door. Her gaze stays in front of herself.

"About the assignment. What emotion were you trying to evoke?" She turns to Felix.

"It couldn't be more simple." He replies.

"Love."