Always find me ~ ChanLix

17

Author note quickly. Turns out Oliver Jones is a Canadian jazz musician. I did not know that when I named the character soooo. Yeah. Just putting that out there. You can look him up if you want, but it might be weird cause you might imagine his face after when you see his name in future chapters. So it's up to you if you want. I was going to put his face as the picture for this chapter but it just felt weird. Anyways, after that note. Here's the next chapter!

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Felix climbed up to his room lazily, letting his feet drag on the wooden floor. His mom had already shut her bedroom door, meaning she wouldn't hear Felix lightly weeping.

Again, no tears fell. Only heaves and pants. Felix stood with his back against the wall. His legs trembled as he slid his back down, making a slight thudding sound on the ground. His shoulders were shaking and his chest felt sore. He had never experienced a day with so many unwanted happenstances.

Why won't this fucked up day end...

The choked up boy tapped his head back to the wall. He repeated this action, despite the slight headache it gave to his brain. The tapping continued and continued, until the spot on the back of his head felt numb.

He felt so numb, it made him then feel light headed and tired. His once steady and meditative pace began to slow down to half its tempo. Felix couldn't tell apart his surroundings clearly.

Are the lights getting dimmer...?

It felt like such a stupid question to ask himself, yet it was more comforting than admitting to the fact that he was about to pass out from his own self inflicted pain. His head came to a sluggish stop and his neck lost its strength, letting his skull waver on the wall until it slid to his right.

His body collapsed.

——

Felix couldn't differentiate his dreams from reality most of the time. They felt so real. Like the surreal-ness of what happens in them doesn't seem strange in the moment. Tonight was a night where a dream wasn't conceivable. It was just pitch black. No sign of light anywhere. What was it though? Was it a dream of darkness? Was it just Felix's mind movie theatre not screening anything tonight? Or was it simply just the back of his eyelids?

Well it wasn't the last option, because Felix could see his legs. Then his hands. Then his body. Then he looked up.

He could see himself.

At first Felix thought he was looking into a mirror, but the body started moving on its own without his control. It was one of those dreams where you're disconnected from your person. Watching your body as if another person had taken control of it.

As if his eyes were a camera filming a movie, his vision followed the body smoothly to where it was going. Where was there to go? Darkness surrounded them from all around. But the body kept walking, it's destination had a purpose.

It then came to an abrupt halt. But nothing was there? Felix could only see his body as it stood still.. What was the purpose of this dream?

"Felix."

There was a voice.

Felix looked to his body, but it was still unmoving. Felix wanted to go looking for the voice, but he couldn't move. He was stuck with his body. All he could do was watch himself, the self that was now beginning to tremble. All he could see was the back.