MY POETIC DIARY

A STORY OF A NIGHTMARE

Aw! How everything was left in silence
no words I could ever say,
- to make me want you to stay.
The one who tells me I must obey,
because I am Women,
I have no way to act this away.

I did say this over and over,
Yet my voice had a louder tone
when I said,
"Where is the crime for me to want to be loved? "
knowing in my heart this is something
you don't know how to give.

But I, for all those painful years, had forgiven you.
It was the right thing for me to do,
I know it has been so very long in those painful years,
that gave me so many tears,
-along with all those fear,
that made its way into a story of a nightmare.

Aw! yet not one sound did I ever said to you
- to make you want to stay, I had it that way.
Because my heart and body and spirit couldn't
and wouldn't want to take any more of your abuse.
In the silence of the night -
we said our goodbyes, without words.

I just let you walk away
- in the pains you gave,
for loving me the way you did-
will be the nightmare you handed down to me.
But still, must I hear the cries of those years
that stand so near?

Aw! -even in the silence I still hurt
-I still hear all your words,
no matter the words that weren't said at the end.
I still heard you speak to me in darken dreams,
that forever makes me scream.
I don't sing in a happy tone
not even in the month of June.

I hold no rhyme in my heart,
yet my heart still beats-
Anyone with an eye could see-
I have been torn apart, in every kind of way.
I thought by being in silence I would be finding peace,
I should be able to get on with my life-
I know I am human, but he made me feel so ill.
With him and without him-
I will always remember the nightmare he gave.

In these lonely hours-my tears flow like the mighty sea,
in those painful years that became darken dreams,
where it is I will always hear the screams.
Aw! I do still hold the sounds of the crying winds
-that come to me in painful hues-
as the ancient waves play their blues.

I walk alone in the silence of the night-
wishing I was walking in true happiness.

-Judy Emery © 1980
The Queen Of Darken Dreams Poetic Judy Emery