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chapter 10

millie

his lips were soft. they were frozen for a second, but then they moved with mine in synch. my hands were on either side of his face. his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me flush to him.  he was much taller than me, but somehow we fir perfectly.

i smiled against his lips and pulled back so that only our foreheads were against each other.

then i come to me senses, it was finn. i just kissed finn. "fuck. sorry. i've probably ruined everything." i sorta want to cry again. it's been a long day.

i really hope that i didn't ruin everything. we only became friends again recently. i would rather have finn as a friend than nothing at all.

"are you serious? i've wanted to do that for a long time mills."

"really?" i ask in disbelief. finn has been wanting to kiss me?

at first i had thought i misheard. i tend to be quite pessimistic. i don't like to get my hopes up with fantasies that probably won't happen. if you don't expect much, you won't ever be disappointed. that was my motto. i was just trying to protect myself.

"i've liked you since the day i saw you mills." my small hands were enclosed in his larger ones. his hands were slightly clammy, but still comforting.

i felt as if i was on cloud nine. i wanted to stay there forever.

and for a minute i let my guard down. i let myself imagine a future with finn. us walking into school together, the power couple of the school. us kissing. cuddling. saying 'i love you'. i really really want that. i didn't think about how that could hurt me, letting my guard down.

so finn and i stayed on cloud nine kissing for awhile.

***

i woke up next to finn. he was laying on his back, and my head was resting on his chest. i had a leg thrown over him, and his arm pulled me close to him.

i carefully tried to peel his arm from me in an attempt to get off the bed. however finn had other plans. he pulled me down again, i didn't even realize that he was awake. "mhmm stay." finn grumbled, still half asleep.

i let myself be pulled back down and settle half on top of him again. with my face burrowed in his neck. i inhaled his scent. the only way that i could describe it as, was finn. my eyes flutter close and i dream of finn.

***

sadie raises her eyebrows, taking in the sight of finn and i cuddling. we had stayed like that for a couple more hours after i had initially woken up. we started to hear the commotion of four other teenagers awake. we wanted to stay in our little bubble for a little bit longer. if i could, i'd stay there forever. without a care for anything besides finn. in the span of twelve hours, my whole word had become finn.

"wow millie. seems as if you have a lot to tell me." she questions, obviously wanting to know everything.

"i'll tell you later sads."

"you better!" sadie exclaims, skipping out of the room with a change of clothes.

and to be honest. i'm not even completely sure what happened.

have you ever felt happy. so happy that you feel as if you are on the top of the word. when you're so high up, you feel a sense of light-headedness. but a good kind.

but what goes up, has to come down.

***

euphoria surronds me. it swathes me in warmth and intense joy. a permanent smile is etched on my face.

we were laying in a field, just enjoying the others presence. very twilight esque, i know. but there aren't as many date options for two teenagers without money. somehow after months of living with joe, i still haven't acquired a job.

it was only a couple of days after the confessions at the party. they were probably some of the best days of my life.

"millie?" finn asks, interrupting the silence.

"yeah?"

"will you be my girlfriend?"

"it would be my pleasure."

***

"finn, i'm happy. you make me so happy."

"mills, you've made me happy since the day that i met you."

his fingers run through my hair as i lay on his legs. i turn and sit up so that we are looking at each other.

i place my lips on his and tug my hands through his hair. he pulls me unto his lap so that i'm straddling him. his tongue swipes on my lower lip and his tongue enters my mouth.

we make out for awhile, me laying down and him above me on his forearms to avoid crushing me.

i hope this happiness lasts forever.

so ik this took a lil bit. :( i was at a family reunion with like barely any service. i got a sunburn and about 25 bug bites :| anyway fillie finally lol sorry if the kissing and romance stuff is weird. it's a lil weird to write ab when it hasn't happened to u. this rlly makes me realize my singleness lol. anywayyy hope u enjoy :) next chap realistically should be the next couple days ??? it'll be more fluff yay -em