The Bad Boy Know-It-All

Who is He to Me? ✓

* PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES A DARK PAST WITH BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. THIS MAY MAKE SOME READERS UNCOMFORTABLE, SO FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS CHAPTER IF YOU WOULD PREFER!

Amelia

Alexander Collins.

A name that has haunted me for years.

It has taken me years to come to terms about what he did to me.

It has taken me years to slowly want to overcome this. 

Just when I slowly coming out of my shell again, he's back.

Not too many people know who this person is to me, and not many would ask either.

But, I could see the question on the boys' faces as we bolted to bathroom. I needed out of that conversation though. I couldn't bear to hear anymore. Even his name instills panic in me. 

It has been around two years since I last saw Alexander in person, but every night when I close my eyes, it is as if he is right in front of me. 

I still get nightmares, and it seems like nothing helps to make them go away. 

I have tried a countless number of prescriptions. I have tried group therapy, one-on-one therapy. I have tried mindfulness, yoga, and even running to get my mind off of it. Yet, it doesn't work. 

I want to feel normal again, but it is so damn hard sometimes. 

It is hard to trust people again. 

I have spent years building up my walls, only for one goofball to swoop in and destroy them, and for some reason, I am weirdly okay with that. 

Gage makes me feel as if the world could be right. Well, he used to. Now that Alexander is back, I don't know how I feel anymore.

I was friends with Alexander at first. At one point, I had called him my best friend. Morgan, and I considered him to be an older brother. We used to do everything together. It used to be just us three in our own little world.

Little did I know that he would change it all.

It happened one day after school. I needed a ride home, and Morgan had practice that night. 

So, Alexander offered me a ride, and I couldn't refuse. I had no other person to turn to for one. Both of my parents were at work, and Morgan was unable to. So, I decided to take his offer. 

I used to have my license and was able to drive freely, but I had no car which meant I could not go many places. 

Now, it is just wishful thinking to believe that I will be able to drive again.

It's not that I am unable to, it is more that I can't. Every time I get into a car, I start to freak out, sometimes internally and sometimes externally. 

To be honest, I am not even sure how I survived some of the car rides with Gage, but I did. I trust him. I have to, if I don't then I let fear ruin me, and I won't let that happen anymore.

But for right now, my thoughts still run wild, and I am unable to control them most days. Alex took a lot of things from me that day, and I will never be able to forget what happened.

We had just arrived to my house, and I undid my seatbelt, and turned to look at him, asking the silent question of 'are you ready to go in'?

However, I was not able to predict that he would lunge at me. 

At first, I thought it was just normal play fighting, you know the kind similar to what most real life siblings have. I quickly learned that it was not.