Damaged and Broken

what's happening to me?

Athena's P.O.V

My heart went out to my little brother, he was so small and cute and looking at him sleeping on the steps it just made me want to love him even more. I stepped forwards to help pick him up to take him upstairs but Ethan beat me to it. I sighed when he grinned at me. He was trying to make a point, which i was to sit there twiddling my thumbs staying out of harm’s way whilst he did everything to make my life boring. It worked fine with me knowing i was in no danger but life is better when there is ups and downs. Do you agree? I'm going to try and not dwell on that thought for any longer. It's depressing. I followed my big arrogant alpha mate inside and he turned around and flashed me his teeth. Woops must have read my thoughts, naughty me. My wolf was really shocked at my behaviour, she was applauding me at the same time but she was still concerned with my mood swings. Well all my life I’ve been this shy timid girl who wouldn't come out of her shell, now it's like I’ve got a new personality and that thought is positively frightening. I sighed again. My skin was itching like something was going to happen, something big. I'm feeling very... what the words are ...is hot and aroused. No that's not it; i was squirming on the spot. I lost my concentration as i stopped by my bedroom door. Tommy was sleeping peacefully there and i smiled. 

Ethan turned around and looked at me, his eyes no longer the ocean blue i loved. They were dark almost black but very dark sapphire at least. I was confused but not for long before a warm heat in my stomach sent my muscles clenching tightly and butterflies winging everywhere. He only had some shorts on from when we had changed and i was left marvelling at his perfectly sculpted chest and abdomen. Boy was it a sight, i licked my suddenly dry lips as my body continued to tightened to the point where i almost cried out. He strides long and confident as he strolled over to me, his body personifying power. 

"What's happening to me?" I choked out. He growled and fisted his hand in my hair, kissing my neck over and over leaving dozens of hickeys.

"You’re going into heat, I’m guessing this is because i marked you and we still haven't mated." He whispered his voice husky 100% masculine alpha male tending to his mate in need. I squirmed against his body trying to get closer to him; i was nuzzling close to his neck seeking comfort and warmth. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest.

"Make It Stop" I growled making each of the words pronounced leaving a sense of power hanging beneath every word. He sighed, obviously concerned about how i would react to the solution.

"The only way to make it stop is... if we complete the mating." I abruptly looked up at him, my eyes wide. I couldn't think straight but it was too late before i blurted out,

"Do it"

I watched as Ethan picked up Tommy and whispered he would be back. I'm guessing he was taking him to the pack house as we would be... occupied for a while and unable to look after him if there was a problem. He returned 10 minutes later and picked me up wrapping my legs around his waist. I was scared, i must admit but i was also excited and not thinking rationally. He took me to our room and placed me carefully on the bed as he dropped on top of me. He gave me a quick look just to confirm i wanted to go ahead with this and i nodded. He continued and took away the layers that separated us. He always looked into my eyes whilst undressing us both and he was always so gentle. As he continued i lost track of time and what i was actually doing. It was just turning dark as we settled down under the sheets and ... well you know.  The night was filled with long lasting moments of pleasure as we completed the mating and secured our bond. Nothing would separate us now. Nothing but death, which was highly unlikely.

Nightfall came and it was just before midnight that i decided to fall asleep and become dead to the world as my body was tired and sated. I closed my eyes and dreamed, dreamed of beautiful things that would happen in my life, considering i had a very long life expectancy. I would never age, so that is one good side, no wrinkles and all that. But the sad thing was, would i want to grow old and watch my children age and have children? Would i want to sit with my mate, in old age and watch the world and the sunset? One could only see both sides to a normal human life and a werewolf live. I wouldn't give up what i have now for the world so i guess it puts an end to my debate. 

When i awoke in the morning, i stiffened. I was naked under sheets with somebody lying next to me. I tried hard to think what had happened last night and then it came to me. I panicked, why had i been like that? I never wanted to mate until i was married so why now? I tried to move but an arm wrapped around my waist. I struggled against Ethan's strength as i tried to push away from him. He noticed how scared i was and straddled me by the waist. I noticed how he had pants on which was a sigh of relief. He held my hands above my head and pinned down my legs so i wouldn't hurt either of us. I was breathing heavily.

"What's wrong Athena?” He looked at me with sincere eyes. I stopped twisting trying to break free and i looked at him.

"I don't know, i think I’m going crazy. Why did we... um you know do that? I know if i was in the right mind last night i wouldn't have made the decision to complete the... (Cough cough) bond. I wanted to save it till after marriage. I always promised myself i would wait till my honeymoon for my husband to make it perfect, with candles and rose petals. Does it make me a bad person that i didn't wait? Does it make me a who?"

He didn't let me finish my sentence before he silenced me with a kiss.

"Don’t ever think of yourself that way. Banish that word from your mind, when a female wolf goes into mating she has no control over it. After being marked it's only a matter of time, you could go into heat a few moments later or up to a year later. If I’d have known about your dream i would have waited. But if you want, after marriage i could do the whole roses and romantic music for you," He whispered looking at me. Tears welled up in my eyes.

"You'd do that for me?" He nodded. I hugged him and he hugged me back and stood up and walked over to the chest of draws. He picked up some clothes for me and handed them to me to get dressed as he went to get his own. I got dressed that morning forgetting the small issue of my emotions getting the better of me as me and Ethan picked a movie and curled up on the sofa watching Marley and Me.

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Well, I’m so sorry about the long delays. Just that school has been hectic and it's the year i do GCSE's and I’ve just been overwhelmed with homework. Please forgive me. Anyway, what did you think about this chapter. Thoughts comment below and let me know, Thanks for reading and hopefully I’ll update soon. Lauren