Pride of the 90's

28

It's been a while since I got kicked out. I'm living with Brandon now, so that's nice, I guess. We're back together, too. I'm not entirely sure we even broke up. I think we just thought we did. It's okay, though. I think we came out better than we did before. My wrist still hurts, but it's getting better. My ankle is okay, too. Turns out I just twisted it. I'm okay, though. He's been taking care of me a lot since I left the hospital. He barely even leaves me alone when he's home. I don't mind. It feels like he's trying to make up for lost time.

When he's not around, I'm left alone at the house. I mostly clean, but there's only so much of that I can do. I've been wearing his clothes, seeing how mine are back home with my parents. Honestly, I don't think I hate the punk/grunge look on me. It's just weird seeing me look so different. I still feel like me, but also no, if that makes any sense. The most I do is make up work he brought home for me. It's a lot, so I have a lot to catch up on.

I was supposed to go back a week ago, but after getting kicked out and hurting myself, the school is giving me the rest of the year to myself, so long as I do the work I need to pass. I want to go back, I really do, but I'm afraid of what happens if I do. I know I can't hide forever, but what am I supposed to do? If I go back with a bandage on my wrist after my dad kicked me out for bing gay AFTER the photo of me and Brandon went around and confirmed that both of us are gay and together, I could be run off before I even hit the steps.

I know I have to go back next year, but that's next year.

I can't even go outside for to long. I keep taking small steps in the back yard, spending a little more outside each day, trying to get used to being out in the open again. It's easy since nobody is around, but I'm still afraid someone might see me. It is nice to be in the air, though. It feels and smells like freedom. I feel like I've been behind closed doors for so long, I forgot what color grass even was, let alone what it felt like.

Maybe he can bring the school here instead?

I was in the kitchen, sitting at the counter-table and doing some of the homework.

"I'm home," He called, coming into the kitchen.
"Hey," I replied, trying to keep focus on the homework. "How was school?"
"Fine," He replied, kissing me and wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "How was your day?"
"Boring. I spent the whole day doing this stupid homework."

How am I supposed to do it if I don't even know what any of it is?

"I'm gonna take a break," I said, stepping up from the tab-"Haley?" As I turned around, Haley was standing in the archway, looking almost nervous, which I know was wrong because she never looks or feels like that.
"Hey, D," She said, barely even looking at me.
"Hey. I didn't know you would be here. Why didn't you tell me she would be here?" I asked Brandon.
"I didn't even know until today. I told her you were here and she wanted to come see you."

I think she already knew where I was. I think she was to nervous to come here on her own.

"How have you been?" I asked her. "Has anyone given you shit about me lately?"
"Nope," She replied, almost disappointed. "I think they knew better than to ask me anything. Your boyfriends rampage didn't help, either."
"Yeah, I'll bet. You look-"
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For not being able to protect you."

Guess we're still on this, huh?

"Haley."
"I couldn't save you from Ben and I couldn't save you from this and-"
"Stop! I am not your responsibility, you don't have to protect me every time I get hurt."
"Well, you won't do it yourself. Besides, you're my best friend, I'm supposed to be there for you for stuff like this."
"But I don't need you to fight for me. All I ever needed was for you to support me and talk to me and you have been. You've been doing it for years, why should now be any different?"