Pride of the 90's

30

Moving my stuff into boxes, down to the truck, then back upstairs to my room wasn't so bad. Well, I didn't take them back up. Mom and Brandon wouldn't let me. He was already mad enough at me for helping the first time. Putting all my stuff in boxes allowed me to rearrange my room a bit. Angel and Rico came over with Brandon and they gave me a rainbow flag. It's hanging over my bed now. Rico wanted to put it on the porch, but I thought that was a bad idea. Not a lot of people around my neighborhood would be okay with me if they knew I was gay.

Mom being a bad ass to me or not, I don't want to put her through that.

I'm not the only one that got a reboot, though. Madison-Madz, I mean, cut her hair short. She spent so long being her and someone else that she kind of forgot how to just be her. So, she's giving herself a complete overhaul. She even died it a dark, metallic blue and told Brandon that he WILL be taking her to punk shows in Seattle. Guess she's finally reached her rebellious phase. Her parents were so mad when they found out, but she told them that it's not their hair, it's hers. It's her life and she can do whatever the hell she wants with it, starting with this.

I'll always feel guilty for doing what I did to her, but at least I could teach her something, I guess.

Haley is even taking to letting herself dress how she wanted, all Addams family. She's not going full goth, just enough to let her freak flag fly. her mom wasn't happy with all the dark colors, but I think we all know that Haley does what Haley does. It's better to go with it.

After the photos got out, it changed everything. Maddy stopped being the obidient little girl that her parents wanted her to be or the one-dimensional trophy girlfriend everyone thought she was. Haley...well, she's still Haley. Just darker. Brandon even told people about him. They asked and instead of ignoring them, he out right told them.

It's not their business, but thats no reason he can't proud of who he is.

And after the 'talk' I had with my dad, all of my self doubt just kinda disappeared. Well, not really, but I felt better for telling him off the way I did. I didn't want to, though. I wanted him to say psyche and hug me and say sorry. I don't think I was asking for much, but I guess I was, since I haven't heard from him since. I don't think my mom has, either. I don't even think she cares. It's been two days and nothing. He might have just skipped town all together.

She wasn't lying, though, his stuff did wind up in a fire. Kids can be proud of their parents, too, right?

I've been wearing a lot of long sleeves. I'm still embarrassed by what happened, so it's long sleeves until it heals up more. Especially since I'm going back to school. I'm scared, yeah, but I can't live in fear forever. I don't know if I'll have to fight forever...

But I'm running away. Not this time.

As we got closer to the school, I felt more and more nervous. Like getting on a rollercoaster willingly. You know exactly what will happen, but not really. Does it slow down as you get to the top or does it go upside down? Are the seats broken and your left to rely on your own strength to not fall out? Is it going to stay on track or will it fly off, taking onlookers with the passengers? I don't know what's about to happen, but I'm not going on it alone.

"Hey," Brandon said, putting his hand on mine. We were parked outside the school, but I had been sitting here for a good minute, my head in my hand and my leg shaking. "Are you sure you wanna do this? I mean, you can get a GED instead. Nobody will think less of you." I could, but...
"I will," I said, squeezing his hand. "I need to do this. For me."
"Okay. Just know that if you can't, I'm still proud of you. We all are."
"I know." I took one last deep breath, so deep, it probably passed the Titanic, and opened the door, stepping out.