Pride of the 90's

31

I would be lying if I said I wasn't still nervous. People were still staring at me, but it started dying down when they got used to seeing me holding Brandon's hand. I gotta admit, I do miss the cute notes and him brushing his hand on mine whenever we passed each other in the hall. He still left me a note in our locker, telling me he's proud of me.

It's hanging up on the locker door.

I'm proud of me, too. This year has been stressful, but I managed it fine. I mean, I almost committed suicide, but that's in the past. I don't have Brandon watching my every move anymore, so that's nice. He's still protective of me, but he's loosened the leash a little.

He still took the basement, so we have more time to be alone. His parents also got pretty cool with my mom, with his forming a book club with mine, but really, they just get together with Haley and Madz's mom's and drink wine while talking about their husbands and how much they secretly hate their kids.

Not me, though.

I'm a god damn treasure.

With summer break around the corner-

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhh..."
"Haley?" I asked with her leaning so hard on me, I almost lost my balance. "What are you doing?"
"I don't wanna go back."
"Back where?"
"School."
"We go on summer break at the end of today."
"I know, but I already don't wanna come back."

Some things change for the better, some things stay the same because...I don't know, global warming, I guess.

I keep looking back at the last year, wondering how it got so out of control. I struggled with my identity, got into a fight with Brandon because I couldn't process having a crush on him, broke down with Haley because I couldn't accept it, 'accidentally' cheated on my girlfriend, told the Crew to go to hell, got Brandon to punch Mason, twice, almost committed suicide because of my dad, lost myself for a bit, found myself in a way I didn't expect, then came out to the entire school.

It's weird to recap everything in one sitting, like my life is a movie. Who would even play me? Jeff Goldblum? Unless they can play Nightcrawler, don't even come at me with casting. I put my money on Michael J. Fox. Chris Farley would be better, though.

After everything, I can finally breathe without feeling like it might somehow hurt someone. I'm not afraid, I'm not pretending to be something I'm not. It's not perfect, but it doesn't have to be because I'm the best me that I can be and nobody can take that from me.

Even though they may try to anyway.

I was in the cafeteria with Haley, Brandon and Tina, waiting for the final bell before summer break. She fell in with us after I came back. She doesn't really have any friends and as much as she trips over herself, I don't trust her on her own. She's cool, though. She may have a little pent up anger, though.

Brandon was heading to the table when he wasn't paying attention and crashed into Mason.

"Watch it, faggot!" Mason said, slapping the tray from Brandon's hand.
"Don't get mad at me because you were to busy thinking about your sister," Brandon replied, walking away from him. I'm glad he isn't taking it from them anymore.

Mason pushed him from behind and I shot up, running over and pushing Mason away. Ever since I got back, their influence has died down, to the point where we have to remind ourselves they're even here. Nobody listens to them anymore, nobody moves when they walk by, nobody even remembers their names. They just exist now, same as the rest of us. Of course, they can't accept that, so they try bullying whatever poor kid they think won't fight back.

At some point, we all do.

I picked Brandon up, telling him to sit down and forget about him. I don't want to fight, but I will if it means protecting him for once.