sue me | joshler ✓

THIRTY ONE

it was thursday afternoon and brendon, josh and darren were sitting in their math class that they all had together. they had about 5 minutes left of class, so the 3 of them were sitting in the back of the room, talking.

"do you guys have any plans for this upcoming weekend?" brendon asked the two.

"we both gotta work." darren spoke.

brendon let out a teasing laugh. "ha losers."

"what about you? got any plans you asshole." darren shot back with a smile.

"yes actually. tyler, jenna, sarah and I are going on a double date." brendon admitted.

josh's ears perked up at that and his face filled with confusion. "did you say jenna and tyler?" he asked, hoping he heard wrong.

brendon cocked his head. "yes..?"

josh's head started spinning and his eyes began to fill with tears. it's couldn't be true. tyler wouldn't lie to him.

"I-I thought they broke up." josh whispered, his throat tightening with every word.

"broke up? where did you hear that?" brendon asked completely confused.

darren saw that josh's eyes were watery and he looked at him concerned. "J? are you okay?"

before josh could fully process anything, the bell rung and he stormed out of the class to find tyler. he needed to hear it from him. he needed to know if what brendon said was true. he needed to believe that tyler wouldn't do this to him.

he saw tyler standing at his locker and he walked up to him. tyler looked at him with a smile before noticing that his face was stained with tears.

"josh? what's wrong?" he asked him softly.

"you are still sleeping with jenna? after I—" josh hissed before tears started to recollected in his eyes.

guilt appeared on tyler's face and he opened his mouth to speak but josh scolded him. he shut it and looked down before barely nodding his head.

and that's what made josh's heart shatter like glass.

"I trusted you with my whole heart. I let you touch me, tyler. I let you—oh my god we didn't use a condom. what if I caught something." josh said starting to freak out.

tyler looked up at him with horrified eyes. "i'm clean." he whispered.

josh couldn't handle his anger anymore and he slammed tyler's locker shut.

"how am I supposed to believe that? you played me tyler. you cheated on jenna. you lied to me. you lied to jenna. you could've slept with tons of more people. how is that supposed to make me feel?" josh wiped the tears.

tears started to well into tyler's eyes as he stuttered out a response. "josh i-i'm sorry but I can't come out. i'm scared.  I promise it won't happen again, please don't leave me. I didn't want to hurt anyone, i'm so sorry please." tyler begged reaching out for josh's hand. josh pulled his hand away.

"that's not an excuse to cheat and make me feel like a fool. do you not understand what you did was not okay? i'm going to have to spend my evening getting tested instead of at work because of you. leave me alone. don't talk to me. don't talk about me. don't even look at me. we're done with whatever this is." josh stormed off, face stained with tears.

josh tried so hard to not let out a sob as he walked through the halls. he felt so stupid and humiliated and he just wanted to go home and cry until he passed out from exhaustion.

as he was walking, he felt a pair of hands grab him. "josh?" he heard darren say. by then the hallways were empty due to the bell ringing for 6th period to start.

josh looked up at him with sad eyes and his lip being to wobble. "d-darren." he breathed before his breathing started to get heavy.

"c'mon let's go to my car and you can tell me what's wrong." darren replied sincerely while he took his bestfriend to his car.

once they got in darren's car josh collapsed on him and started sobbing.

darren's heart broke at the sight and he gently rubbed josh's back. letting him cry it out.

josh's sobs started to get louder and darren grew concerned. he pulled josh up and wiped the tears from his swollen face.

"josh please tell me what's wrong. is it about tyler?" he begged.

it took a second for josh to collect himself before he hiccupped out a response. "h-he—" he started before crying once more.

"breathe babe. in and out. collect yourself and thoughts before speaking. you're okay." darren hushed him softly.

"d-don't get mad at me please." josh choked slightly.

darren looked at him with sad eyes. "why would I be mad?"

"tyler and I were a thing." he whispered.

darren eyes widened. "what?" he asked, astonished.

josh nodded his head. "yeah. h-he came out to me after he k-kissed me and it just sorta became a thing. h-he knew how I felt about him a-and he lied to me about breaking up with jenna. I feel so used dar. I w-was starting to fall in love with him." he admitted, tears still running down his face.

darren pulled josh in for a tight hug. "I'm so so sorry honey. I can't even began to say how much you deserve better. I love you." he whispered soothingly.

josh didn't respond, he only hugged his bestfriend tighter. "t-the worst part is, when we had sex, he asked me if I was okay the whole time." josh admitted, lip trembling again.

darren looked down and saw that josh's eyes were completely filled with hurt and it took everything not to hurt tyler for hurting josh the way he has.

"i'm so sorry." he said honestly.

josh wiped the tears from his eyes and shrugged. "it's whatever. my fault for letting myself get played. i'm gonna go home." he said while getting out of darren's car. darren opened his mouth to say more but josh was already gone.

when josh got home, he walked into his house, completely ignoring his mother's confusion on why he was home early. he laid down in his bed, cuddling next to jim while continuing to cry. it hurt so bad. it felt like he was repeatedly getting punched in his heart.

after about 30 minutes of crying, he heard a soft knock on his door.

"go away." he said. instead of listening, the door opened and revealed abbie.

"you look sad so I brought you alfie. he always makes me feel better." she said quietly.

something snapped inside josh and he took the bear and threw it. "do you think that's going to help? GO AWAY." he yelled at his little sister.

he immediately regretted it when he saw abbies eyes fill with tears. he sighed. "i'm sorry." he whispered.

she looked at him with a mad look. "you're mean and not my bubby anymore!" she yelled before storming off.

josh had finally ran out of tears and was left completely numb. he felt so much but nothing at all. after he heard those words his sister said, he crawled under his covers, falling asleep, hoping to never wake up.