sue me | joshler ✓

THIRTY FIVE

josh got into his car on monday morning and waited for his sister to come out of the house so that they could go to school. the memories of this past weekend flooded his brain.

after him and luke had sex, he was so embarrassed, he couldn't speak for about 10 minutes after it happened. luke gave him his number but josh didn't plan on actually texting him because he felt pathetic that he hooked up with a random guy he had met 20 minutes prior to that. josh had the nerve to call tyler a whore and he's not much different.

once ashley got in the car, josh turned up the radio to avoid any conversations. he really didn't feel like talking.

that all was ruined though, when halfway through the drive, ashley turned the music down and turned her head towards her brother.

"I was listening to that." josh mumbled, not taking his eyes off the road.

ashley rolled her eyes before answering. "I don't care. what's your deal lately?"

josh gripped the sterring wheel but continued driving. "what are you talking about?" he snapped at her.

"you know exactly what i'm talking about," she paused before speaking again. "you're making mom sad."

josh pulled into the parking and turned the car off before looking at her for the first time. "don't do that."

"do what?" the other answered confusingly.

"making me feel like a bad person and that it's all my fault." he answered.

"i'm not—" ashley defended before josh cut her off. "whatever it's fine. get out. we are here." he moodily said. ashley gave one last sad look at her brother before complying and getting out of the car.

there were 30 minutes until the first bell was supposed to ring and josh didn't feeling like being there until he had to, so he impulsively opened the glove box to his car and pulled out a clear wrapper that contained a blunt he had gotten from brendon the night before. he stared at it for a moment or two before turning on his car and driving out of the parking lot.

josh drove across the street to an empty parking lot and lit the blunt. he took a huge hit and inhaling it, slightly coughing on the burning of his lungs. he took a couple more hits before putting it out and saving the rest for later.

after sitting there for a few minutes, josh repulled back into the school parking lot and sprayed some cologne on him to try to mask the smell. he also looked in the mirror to check his eyes.

yeah. he was high.

did he care? no.

as he was walking into the school, people gave him weird looks in the hallways but he ignored it and entered the library. josh needed to use the ones in there rather than the ones the school provided. his was practically broken and barely turned on and he really needed to turn in his history essay.

while he was sitting in an empty chair, he felt a presence next to him.

"josh?" a voice that made josh's heart race spoke. he looked over at tyler for a split second before looking away.

tyler sighed but his nose scrunched up as he smelt josh. "josh are you high?" he asked with concern.

"I thought I told you to stop talking to me." josh snapped.

"josh look at me. are you high?" tyler asked once again.

"yeah." josh answered boredly as he turned on the computer.

"josh you're stoned at 7am you're fucking stupid." tyler answered honestly.

"and you're a whore." he shot back, trying to login to the computer.

instead of not wanting to start an argument, tyler sighed and rubbed his temples. "you're gonna get caught. i'm just trying to look after you. this isn't you."

josh stopped messing with the keys and turned towards tyler and rolled his eyes. "get caught? like how you got caught cheating on jenna and playing me? don't fucking tell me how to live my life."

a look of hurt flashed through tyler's eyes before he sadly sighed. "you're right. i'm sorry. i'll leave you alone now." he spoke, voice barely above a whisper as he walked away.

josh has never wanted to cry so bad.

he walked into his first hour after turning in his essay and sat down in his usual spot. he pulled out his phone and began playing on it.

darren noticed he sat down and smiled at him. "did you walk by brendon? you smell like w—" he began before he noticed josh's red eyes.

he pulled josh near him and turned his face so that they were looking at eachother. "seriously J?" he whispered while he pulled out some eye drops out of his bag and handed them to josh.

"what?" he questioned as he took the eye drops from him and squeezing them into his eyes.

"this isn't like you. I get being sad about everything but coming to school high knowing you can get in huge trouble is a whole other thing." he scolded.

"i'm fine da—" "—you're clearly not josh. you slept with a guy you barely even knew. do you really think so low of yourself?" darren cut him off.

"you did what?" hayley gasped as she heard the end of the conversation.

"thanks darren." josh said sarcastically. "I'm fine. you're not my dad you don't have to worry about me." he admitted. quite frankly, he didn't want to talk about it because he knew he wasn't okay and he didn't know how to fix it.

darren didn't speak anymore after that and josh didn't know whether to be happy or sad about that.

during lunch, josh stared off into space while picking at his food. his high was practically gone but he still didn't feel any better. he glanced at where tyler was sitting and thought about all the good times they had. when tyler sang to him and made him feel so loved. he didn't even realize he was crying until he was snapped out of his thoughts.

"josh!" mia said shaking him. "are you okay? you're crying?" she said worriedly.

he let out a shaky breath and shook his head and finally admitted it. "no. i'm not." he whispered.

josh told hayley and mia everything has been happening and darren held his hand reassuring him the whole time. after letting everything out and hearing their feedback and their love, josh stood up.

"i'm gonna go look presentable. i'll be back. I love you guys." he said honestly as he got up from their table and walked out the cafeteria. when he did, he saw jenna sitting on the floor, doing homework while eating a pack of oreos.

"can I sit here?" he asked her. she looked up at the voice and nodded while moving the cookies so that he could sit down.

"i'm sorry your boyfriend cheated on you." josh apologized.

she sighed and turned towards him. "i'm sorry my boyfriend broke your heart." she said sadly.

"I just want you to know that I had no clue you guys were still together. I wouldn't do that to you. i'm not like that." he answered honestly.

jenna gave him a small smile. "I know. I'm not mad at you." she reassured him.

the other let out a sigh of relief. "well that's good. I can't have the jenna black hating me." he joked while laughing.

"whatever." the mentioned answered while playfully rolling her eyes. "i'm glad you sat here josh."

josh smiled. "me too jenna. me too. together we will get through this. I promise." he swore while holding up his pinky.

she let out a happy laugh as they wrapped their pinkies together.