Mirrors: A Supernatural Fanfiction

Epilogue

Michael Winchester wanted to cry. He could feel the emotions screaming in his chest, clawing at his insides like desperate, caged animals. The grief, the guilt, the rage. All of it, desperate to escape in a rush of tears and horrible screams. 

But his eyes were dry, and his voice came out calm and even every time he spoke. It had been a long time since he had actually cried. It was almost like his body had forgotten how to form tears, and Michael resented himself for that. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the wall. It had been four months since the fall of the angels and Dean's death. Four months of horrible torment as the feelings in his chest grew and grew, until they were all he could think about. Until he didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to eat...he was too consumed. 

It had been his job to protect Sam and Dean. It had been his job to take care of them, to make sure nothing ever hurt them. And Michael had failed. He hadn't been able to take care of either of them. John Winchester was right. Michael was never going to be good enough for anything. 

"Mica?" Lucifer said as he poked his head in the room. His voice was soft, his features looking older than they had four months ago. Michael couldn't look at the archangel without the monster called guilt clawing at his throat and his stomach. Lucifer had been the only well put together one. He was doing his best to take care of Michael. And Castiel. And everyone else, all the while trying to track down the fallen angels. And Michael, again, was of no help. He could barely drag himself out of bed most mornings. "You want something to eat?" Lucifer asked as he sat down by the hunter. 

Michael shook his head no and ignored the concern and pain in the archangel's eyes. Lucifer looked like he wanted to wrap an arm around Michael, but didn't. Every time he touched the hunter, Michael would freak out. He wasn't entirely sure why, but he didn't feel like he deserved to feel safe and comforted. He didn't deserve it at all. 

"I wish I knew how to help you, Mica," Lucifer said. Michael finally looked over and was shocked to see tears in the icy-blue eyes of the angel. "It's not your fault. It was never your fault." 

"I was supposed to take care of them, and I failed," Michael whispered. He could feel the emotions in his throat, fighting to escape somehow, driven wild by the conversation. Yet even as the lump grew in his throat, his eyes remained dry. 

"You didn't fail, Mica. Don't say that," Lucifer said. This time he did wrap his arms around the hunter. Michael fought against his embrace, but soon went limp in his arms. "You gave Sam and Dean something they had never had before, okay? You were there when no one else was, and Dean loved you for that. He would hate what you're doing to yourself." And that was enough. It was enough, because Michael knew it was true. Dean would tell him he was being a stupid son of a bitch, and that he should eat some damn food. And thinking about Dean teasing him made Michael smile into Lucifer's shirt. And then it made his eyes fill with water, the tears raining down his face in a silent storm. 

"I miss him," Michael whispered, crying into his lover's chest. Lucifer was running his fingers through the hunter's hair and kissing the top of his head. 

"Yeah, I miss him too, Mica." 

Sam Winchester wanted to feel something. He was practically numb. He didn't feel sad. He didn't feel angry. He didn't feel anything. It was almost like he had lost his feelings, like they had died with his older brother. But he wanted to feel something, anything. 

Which was why he had Gabriel pinned to the bed and was kissing him roughly. Gabriel was obviously kissing back, but he was trying to be soft, gentle. Sam didn't want to feel soft. He wanted to feel the power of the lust he had, he wanted to feel everything. Gabriel grabbed his hands as Sam attempted to undo the button on Gabriel's jeans. 

"Hey, Samoose, not so fast there kiddo," Gabriel said. Sam wished he could feel hurt by the rejection, but he didn't. He just stared at Gabe, who was looking at him with that softness in his golden, whiskey sunlight eyes. And Sam didn't want to see that softness. He didn't want to see the love in his eyes. 

"Gabe, please," Sam whispered, pushing back into a rough kiss. 

"Sam, I can't. Not with you like this. Trust me, I want you okay? But its not like you've done this before, and you're not you right now. And I don't want to take advantage of that," Gabriel said, burying his face in Sam's chest. Sam knew he was right, but he didn't have to like it. Sam pulled away and walked over to the bed, laying down. He looked at Gabriel, who climbed under the blankets, cuddling into the human's side. "I want it to be because you want it, not because you want to feel something," Gabriel whispered. Sam ignored the tears falling from his eyes . 

"I'm sorry," Sam whispered. Gabriel looked up at him and kissed the tears on his face. 

"Don't be sorry, Sam," Gabriel said. It was all he could say. He couldn't promise things were going to get better. He couldn't promise he was going to fix things, because he knew they weren't and he could. Sam knew how much that must have hurt the archangel. Sam sighed, and wished he could say something to let Gabriel know that he appreciated him, that he wouldn't have survived the last four months if it wasn't for Gabriel's persistent care. 

"I love you, Gabe," he finally whispered. Gabriel nuzzled deeper into Sam's side. 

"Love you too, Samsquatch," Gabriel mumbled. Sam let himself close his eyes, and for the first time in four months, he didn't see his brother dying in his arms. Instead he saw darkness, and he let himself fall into it. 

Castiel Novak wanted to see the angels bleed. He wanted to destroy the things that had destroyed the best thing he had ever had. Castiel wanted his revenge. He wanted to watch the world burn, and he wanted to burn right along with it. 

But more than anything, Castiel wanted to see Dean Winchester one last time. He hadn't spoken a word since that day, four months ago. He had tried, but the words seemed incapable of escaping his lips. So they just swam around in his brain, screaming at him. They were hungry, hungry for some sort of satisfaction, some sort of vengeance. And he was going to satisfy that hunger. He was going to give the words, the rage, the chaos of his mind the blood it wanted. 

Because if he couldn't have Dean back, then the angels didn't deserve to breathe. 

Castiel was standing outside the house, pulling at the sleeves of his trench coat. Lucifer was distracted with Michael. Gabriel was comforting Sam. Castiel was happy for his brothers. He wanted them to be happy, they deserved to be happy. So Castiel didn't bother telling them he was leaving. He hadn't spoken to anyone for four months, he didn't think now was the time to start. He didn't know quite where he was going, but he was going to find every last thing that had ever hurt Dean Winchester. And he was going to start with the monsters that had started it all: Azazel the demon, and John Winchester. 

And he was going to make them pay. 

Welp, that's the end of the book. I promised you an epilogue, and tada!! Yeah, it was super sad, so sorry for that lol. Michael and Sam are depressed....Castiel is murderous. It's gonna be a super fun sequel...when I start writing it lol. 

Anyhow, I'm not going to do a quote, I'm just going to say all of you are amazing!! Thanks for reading my crappy fanfiction, and I'm super glad that I got to know those of you that comment, you are all funny, sweet, beautiful souls!! I'm so glad I joined the Wattpad community, because I've met some amazing friends and people through it. You are all wonderful people, and I can't wait to get to know you all better through the next book!! 

I have the honor to be your obedient servant!!