Letters to No One

#14

The Past Tense of Love

#14

Hey beloved, how are you?

It is my hope and prayer that you are in your most healthy condition.

How's your heart?

I heard it's tearing apart, and have gone through some thorough fixing. But, it's still beating right?

It still is.

And so, it must fight.

Alam mo ba na hindi mo naman kaagad mahal 100% 'yung mga tao na sinasabi mong mahal mo?

Do you know that love is in progression?

Because love has it's past, present and future tense. I am not talking about grammar here. Or the tenses of love.

From: "I like you."

"Pwede bang manligaw?"

"I love you."

To:

"Mag-isang Umibig. Mag-isang Umasa. M.U."

"We just didn't work out."

"We haven't had a closure. He just wants break up."

"We haven't break up. He just didn't talk to me at all."

"Umibig Tapos Iniwan."

Ever heard or said those familiar lines above?

Surely, you have heard or even said those.

Why did I say that love is in progression?

Because when you are in love, you have not looked on the flaws of someone. You have just overlooked it for the sake of being loved and having someone to love.

But what if all the "kilig's" and romantic gestures suddenly fades away?

Will you choose again to love that person?

What if you love him/her but it's just not really working?

What will your response when all the emotions attached to being in love be?

The rage of our emotions will be at it's worst, if we are hurt.

Even if the "It's not you, it's me" will be heard as "I don't love you anymore."

So, what is the past tense of love?

It is not loved. It is forgiveness and forgetting.

Oftentimes, we just want to be needed, loved and wanted; most of the time, never had a thought about what will happen after those "kilig's" are gone.

But, you must also remember that the past tense of love is not just moving on. It is choosing to forgive and forget him/her despite everything that you've been through.

You must forgive yourself for everything that has been said to you. You must forgive yourself for staying in the past where you are the only one living there.

You must forget all those brutal, sleepless and screaming nights, just to get through.

Stop coming back. Stop opening the door that's meant to be shut down along time ago. Stop being the ghost of your past.

Stop being and living like you're the victim.

You bo were guilty of hurting each other.

Stop coming back to the cut that needs healing. Stop burying yourself in agony instead of enjoying the beauty of living victoriously.

Because it is not already a question of what happened in the past, who hurted who, or why it happened. It is already a part of the past that needs healing.

Come now, beloved.

Let's celebrate the past tense of love with an open wide embrace of forgiveness and forgetting.

It is my prayer that each time you'll be reminded of your past hurts with someone whom you've shared of your love and life, you'll choose to remember without bitterness and anger. That each time you'll remember, forgiveness is your answer. That you'll just remember the lessons it brought you, and the actions that have been the root of it; but totally forgot the person who've caused you the excruciating pangs of pain.

And if ever you'll forget, let me remind you again.

You are enough.

You are well-loved.

You are worth fighting for.

It is time to leave that place.

That cold and dark place.

To a place where you can finally say you are home.

Come now, beloved. To Your Father's warmest embrace.

*****