snow and stars| jon snow

xv: the dawn of their time

  Pandora left them after the two stubborn monarchs had realized. They simply stared at each other as if they were children again, their gazes switching from confusion to admiration from time to time. Andromeda was less angry and defensive, and Jon was less confused. Everything felt right in that moment, even if nothing truly was. Like it or not, something between them had changed after they had let the soulbond speak. They were friendly before, but it wasn't like that anymore.

     "So," Jon said awkwardly, clearing his throat. "I guess we were meant to be, huh?"

   "It seems to be that way." The woman said, looking away from him momentarily. "But you're leaving."

  "It's my duty, My Lady." He tried not to look at her, his Jenny.

"I know. I'm a queen." She responded, tapping her crown. "I really wish that you would call me one."

   "I can't," he grimaced. "No matter how much I want to."

  "Do you even want to?" She asked, her voice bordering accusatory.

   "I do," He said immediately. "I really do. You are a queen in every use of the word, and you deserve the title more than anyone else. I respect you."

   "I would hope."

"But I just can't give you what you want." He said, sighing. "It's not fair."

   "You know what's not fair?" she inquired sarcastically. "Being told that I have to bare children. Now."

   He sighed. "You know that's not my fault."

"You should have never come here." She scoffed. "Things would have been much easier. And now that you leave, I'm never going to get over the feeling of not being with you."

   "You didn't even have feelings for me before," he said exasperatedly. "I had feelings for you before she told us, and that's the only reason I didn't fight you tooth and nail out of here!"

    "I did," she corrected, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "But business is more important than pleasure, especially when you are doing something for the sake of others."

   "Don't you think I felt the same?"

"Oh, I know you did," she said, glaring at him. "One of your friends told me everything."

    "What?"

"They told me how you couldn't do whatever this was again, that this all felt like a repeat of Daenerys Targaryen. You've already given yourself to a wildling with red hair, and a Dragon Queen. You pledged yourself to a queen, said that she would always be your queen. Then you killed her." He swallowed dry spit. "You feel bad, having feelings for me. You feel like you're betraying her, is that right?"

   "I do," He said, not feeling the need to lie. "I do."

She stood from her place and walked subtle circles around him, which would unnerve him if it were anyone else. "I can't do anything about how you feel about betraying her. What's done is done, and you saved that horrid place that is Westeros. I applaud you for that."

  "What are you trying to get at?"

"The fact that you're scared of yourself." She said, boldly grabbing his shoulders from behind. "You think that every good thing you touch gets ruined. You fell in love with a wildling, a woman who was more or less happy. And she died in your arms at at arrow. Because of your people, the woman you loved died. Then Daenerys, poor Daenerys. You loved her too, and she loved you back. But you had to save Westeros, and she died in your arms too, by your own hand."

  "You don't have to tell me my life story."

"You don't have to worry about me dying because of you," She said, finally coming around to face him. "You're leaving tomorrow, there's no time for it." She said, sitting right in front of him.

   "So what do you want me to do?"

"There's no more time for us to fall in love." She said, not sugar coating it at all. She looked into his eyes, and noticed that they had dimmed a bit.

   "Can't you tell that I already have?" He whispered, his voice still breaking. "I'm not a slow faller."

"You're not in love with me."

"I am, somewhat." He said, taking her hand. She didn't cringe back, and he took it as a silent victory. "I just needed someone to tell me for me to realize it."

  "Jon," She said in a tone that was pitying. "It won't work."

   "We can try."

"You don't love me."

   "That must be you," He insisted. "You may not love me, but I'll wait."

  "You won't wait." She laughed in his face, a sad laugh. "You will marry someone from Westeros. And that is not me."

   "I really do have feelings for you." He said softly. "Why do you keep shooting them down, Jenny?"

  She was silent for a moment as she tried to get her heart to stop fluttering from nervousness and from his name for her. "Because, I feel what you feel. It's going to be harder for you to leave once I acknowledge that you felt the same for me."

    "I'll stay for a day longer."

"What will a day do?" She wanted to laugh again, but she couldn't. "Make it a day harder once you leave?"

   "I'll come back." He said, squeezing her hand.

"You won't be able to leave your land as often as I want you to. And I can't leave mine, ever." She said, looking away from him. "We may as well give up."

  "No." He stood, leaving her to look up at him. "The gods put us together for a reason, they have to know that we will work."

   "How do you figure that, Jon?"

"You're the last of your family, and I am the last of mine." He said. "I didn't plan on marrying, either, even if I was the damn king. They set us together to let our families go on, don't you get it?" He laughed a bit. "We have to work out."

   "I can't leave," she repeated.

"Then I will, one day." He said, taking her hand and standing her up, smiling when the humming of the room transferred to their touch. "I will resign as the king."

  "This is going fast, Jon." Andromeda said, backing away a bit. "A little too fast."

   "Don't you feel it, though?" Jon asked her, looking into her eyes. "If you're right and this really is our last time together, we need to make it count."

  She suddenly smirked at him. "You want to have sex with me, is that it?"

  He turned red. "No, no!" He would have laughed if he wasn't so embarrassed, and if he wasn't so reminded of Ygritte. "That's not what I was implying."

  "You really are impulsive." She sighed softly, a small smile resting on her face. "Tell everyone that you'll stay one more day. Tell them what you want about us-"

   "They already assume that I like you a lot more than I let off," He said. "They'll know the reason why, but I'll tell them about the soulbond, I suppose."

   She hummed in agreement. "You and I can spend the day with each other tomorrow, from sun up to sun down. It won't be long, but we can try."

   "We can try," he repeated, and brought her into a hug. He was warm, and she loved it. The last time she had a hug from a man that mattered to her was Oberyn, the day before he sailed to Kings Landing, and ultimately to his death. It brought her back to that day, and she was determined from that point on to make tomorrow the most she could. If what she was feeling right then wasn't love, she would sure love him by tomorrow. For better or for worse.

                                     *******

oh my god, i just loooveee writing shit. hopefully i get redeemed by the one after this!