Hopeless Romance

Chapter Sixteen

It was late September.  I had been at the Spring for hours.  I had brought my dinner out and was enjoying it when I noticed Pod, jumping erratically, tail wagging, quick stomps with her front paws here and there.  I realized she was chasing the bright reflection of the sun as it hit my fork and then the ground.  I watched her and laughed until my stomach ached.  Then, my heart began to ache because I wanted to share this moment with May.  I laid on the hard, cool ground and Pod, all tired out from chasing the mysterious light, curled up by my side. 

I saw the rock where May told me her story.  I reminded myself to just keep breathing.  With so much time to reflect lately, I finally had figured it out.  May had invited me into her one private place, into her mind and heart.  A place not even Dr. Cha had been able to force himself into.  And, I had shut her out.  When I saw her during my rescue I knew she was braver than me, and stronger, and now I knew it again.  My fear in telling her about my past was that she would leave.  But now we were already separated.  I had left her.  But, at least she didn’t hate me right now.  If I had told her everything, she would hate me. I didn’t think I could bear it if she hated me. 

A few days later, I saw Robert and May sitting apart in the cafeteria.  He was staring at her, but she was ignoring him.  I actually felt bad for Robert, he looked so heart broken.  I also felt new life rising out of my frozen heart.  The hope of Spring, but it was still Fall.  I wanted to run to her right then.  Many times I wish I had.  But, I decided I would let her have time to heal from whatever happened with her and Robert.  Not long, I just didn’t want to rush in and become a rebound love.  The next morning I found out she had gone on a solo RR.  I felt like I once had, heart beating too fast, trouble breathing.  This time it felt worse though.  I felt like I was going to throw up, I started shaking  I had never really prayed before.  Without thinking, my mind asked simply, “Bring her home to me.  Please.  You took my parents.  Give me this.  Please, please, please.”  But the sick feeling in my gut getting worse was the only answer.  I knew May was in danger. 

I ran all over the caves frantically searching for Frank.  Finally I saw him eating dinner with Robert.  Frank had been colder to me lately.  I hoped it was because Robert had said something about him and May breaking up because she still loved me.  Maybe Sophia had finally told her father about us.  I guessed he’d be more than just a little colder at that news.  Right now I didn’t care why he was angry with me.  Or that they were both glaring at me. 

 “What?” Frank asked, barely holding a professional tone.

I shouted, my words rushing out, “Listen, May is in danger.  I think she is dying.  Please send someone to help her!” 

They both looked at me in disbelief. “Calm down son,” Frank said.  I hated when he called me that.  So, did Robert from the looks of it.  “The mission she’s on was only rated a 1.”  I knew that meant Least Dangerous.  They were looking at me like I was insane.

“I know she is in danger.  If you don’t want to go, send me, I’ll go.  Just tell me where she is.”

Robert laughed, “You book boy?  You wouldn’t know how to get to her. And, if you somehow found her, you’d mess up and both of you would end up dead or in jail.”

“I have to try.  If you won’t go someone needs to.  Please.  Did you ever love her?”

He stood and moved towards me angrily but his eyes filled with tears.  “You know nothing of the love I feel for her.”

“Think whatever you want of me.  Just, please, help her.”

Frank stood too, coming between Robert and me.  He said, “Okay, look this is crazy.  She’ll be back tomorrow.  Go get a glass of wine.  I think the kitchen still has a little.  Calm yourself down.”