Hopeless Romance

Chapter Twenty Eight

It was only during moments spent consciously breathing in my room that I was here, now. 

Time alone I spent in the past, remembering May.  I still cried often but not every day. 

In dreams, sometimes I relived moments with her in the past.  Sometimes we were in futures never to be in reality.  My favorite futuristic dream was the three of us in our bed after May had given birth to our beautiful red headed, perfectly healthy baby.  May would be grinning even wider than normal.  I’d wake crying, not sure if it was more from the painful, cold ache or the warm joy of the dream.

I returned to work.  There I focused on the future.  The Rachiese army was spread thin.  They had taken over too many countries too quickly.  They were fighting too many “terrorists”.  That’s what they called people like us that had limited numbers and resources and had to resort to guerilla tactics. 

We were having our own problems though.  We had outgrown this cave.  We had saved so many.  So, part of our community had relocated to another cave base north east of ours.  Trying to keep two bases secret and secure was twice as difficult.

I also heard stories of others escaping to Sawi, the country that shared our island, the south east tip.  They were secretly allowing Alumen refuges into their country through tunnels under their Security Barrier.  The Security Barrier was a huge wall of concrete topped with barbed wire running the whole length of the border and towering twenty feet into the air.  A wall Sawi created while Rache was busy fighting Alume.  Rache ignored them too long.  They should have considered Sawi more of a threat. 

The inability of Rache to finish conquering the island was proof that their dominance was weakening.  Cracks were starting to appear in Rachiese war strategy.  It might not be in my lifetime, but I knew they would be brought down eventually. 

I spent a lot of time with my kids, again, focused on the future, their future, their development.  I’ve decided nobody can stay sad around young children.  Their laughter is infectious, their hugs and kisses spirit lightening, freeing.  Sometimes Sophia would be there; sometimes she’d leave them with me.  Sometimes she would leave with Denny. 

One day, when I arrived in the library only Sophia was there.  “Hey, the kids are with Denny in the gardens.  He’s helped them make their own little garden!  They love to watch their little plants get bigger.” She smiled.  I didn’t.  I was jealous of any time they spent with Denny.

“Okay.”  I went to leave.

“Wait, Michael, I was, well, I…”  She paused and looked at me.  For a moment I thought she was going to ask me to be with her again.  I flashed to following her back to her room, being with her again.  I liked it.  I liked it a lot.

Bursting my imagination’s bubble, she finished, “I have someone I want you to meet.”

Sometimes I detest my imagination.

I followed her down hallway after hallway.  We were in the residential area of the caves.  Finally she stopped outside a blanket. 

“Hey, Tim?”  No answer.  “Tim, it’s Sophia, come on man.  I have the guy, Michael, I was telling you about.  I really think this will help him.”

My imagination had started to wonder.  Maybe Sophia was going to introduce me to a girl.  Once again, hearing a male’s name, I felt the disappointment and told my imagination to shut up.  I resolved to not expect anything, just wait for this weird mystery out.

We stood there for what had to be five minutes or more.  “Uh, Sophia, I don’t think he’s here.”

“Of course he is.  He’s always here.  Always.”