Hopeless Romance

Chapter Seventeen

My eyes opened to see May’s emerald eyes staring into mine.  “Thank you,” she whispered and then closed her eyes again. 

I went and sat in the chair by her bed.  I reached out and held her hand.  Occasionally she would rub my hand with her fingers or squeeze it.  Other times she’d whisper, “Little Pea Pod” and pet Pod who wouldn’t leave her side.  As hours dragged by, I started to worry about Pod having an accident, but neither of us wanted to leave.

Dr. Harris came by to check her heart beat or take her blood pressure.  Hours later he finally spoke, “She made it through the worst of it and seems to be improving.  I think she is going to be okay.”

I took my first really deep breath since that gut feeling had told me May was hurt.  May smiled.

A week later May explained what had gone wrong.  She told me what Frank had, that the little girl was only ten.  She got scared the last minute and started screaming “stranger, stranger.” 

May continued, “I started running full blast back to the truck, but I heard the front door open.  I glanced back to see a soldier father and a gun in his hand.  I looked back at the truck and as I leapt for it I felt the force of the bullet ram into my back.”  She stopped and a few tears ran down her face.  “I was close enough to kind of fall into the truck.  I put it in reverse, sat up and hit the gas.  I drove backward for minutes.  My engine and windshield were riddled with bullets; he was aiming to kill me.  I don’t even think it occurred to him to slow down my escape by hitting the tires.  I backed onto a sidewalk behind a tree for cover and balled up a jacket on the passenger seat and applied it to my wound.  Then, I put my truck in drive, and headed home as fast as possible without drawing attention.  Everything was dimming, blurry, as I drove the dirt road.  I don’t even remember seeing the ravine, the oak.  Habit must have gotten me there I guess.”

Dr. Harris was listening and said, “I know it doesn’t feel this way, but you are very lucky.  The bullet just missed your heart and spine.  With physical therapy I think you will be able to walk someday.”

I smiled.  May was still frowning.  “Walk?  How about run?  Am I going to fully recover?”

The doctor looked at his feet.  Then back into May’s eyes, “I just don’t know.  We will have to take it day by day.”

May’s face hardened, and she spoke resolutely, “I will run again.”

May worked hard over the next few months, proving once again her unending strength.  It was slow but she gradually improved.

I spent a lot of time with her in the hospital and the physical therapy area.  One day in December we were riding side by side on recumbent bikes in the physical therapy room.  Yes, they had those in the cave, although the doc doubled as physical therapist. 

May looked over at me, “You saved me.”

“I owed you one.”

 “Robert told me you felt I was in trouble.  I would have died under that oak tree.  Without your blood I would have died in the hospital bed.  You saved me twice.  I guess I owe you now.”  That laugh.  I love her laugh. I love that nothing can keep her from laughing.

“You told me this once.  My turn: you don’t owe me anything.”  She smiled. “But, I do have a request.  Give me a chance to tell you what happened between us.  My perspective.  My truth.  You don’t have to promise to love me again or even be my friend.  When you are feeling better just promise you will listen.  I still love you.  I have loved you since the day we first touched.”

Little tear drops were falling from her eyes.  She’s tough and hard as nails but soft and full of emotions.  She was everything.  I just hoped she could forgive me.  She softly said, “I appreciate you being here with me so much of the time. I still love you too Michael, I never stopped loving you.  Wanting to see you once more is what got me home after I was shot.  My love for you is unconditional, it is strong enough for anything that you did in the past or any future mistakes.  If you are sure you want to tell me, then I'll listen when I'm feeling better, okay? You need to know, I never spoke to Robert about us.  I don’t know why you accused me of it, but I would never tell anyone your secrets.”

I thought a moment.  Maybe Robert was just talking generally when he asked why I didn’t want May.  I had walked away from her after all. I felt like a stupid jerk, assuming May told him my secrets. I took a deep breath, trying to forgive myself another mistake.

“Sorry I made that assumption."

"I also want you to know.  Nothing happened between Robert and me in Arizona.  I know he’s been in love with me for a long time, really since we were teens, before the war.  I never felt the same for him.  He has always been like a protective big brother, a good friend.  The first time I touched you elicited more in me than when Robert and I made love once.” She saw my hurt, “It was a year or more before I ever saw you. It was after he rescued me.” 

“Oh, great!  Robert is the one who rescued you?  That guy is amazing alright.”

“You don’t need to be jealous.  I was grateful to Robert, and I had missed him while I was away.  I think that is why I finally gave him a chance.  He thought I was finally in love with him, but Robert and I were only together a few weeks and I told him I didn't feel that way about him.  Then, of course you saw us together again after you broke up with me.  I told him I’d give “us” one more try if he promised not to tell Frank about the two of you fighting."

"Wait, you're telling me he blackmailed you into going out with him? That's kind of messed up and desperate."

"He's kind of desperate, for some reason he's convinced we are meant for each other.  I know there's other girls here that would love to be with him.  He knew he was just a rebound, but I guess he loves me so much he doesn’t care.  He treated me so great, I think he really thought if he loved me enough I’d love him back.  He wanted to prove he’s better for me, that he is the one who really loves me.  But, neither of us can make my heart feel something it just doesn't.  We have lots of fun together.  We do have a lot in common.  We never made love again though.  There was never a spark… like with you.  Maybe it’s true that opposites attract.”

I still felt jealous.  Robert was the one to save her from her personal hell.  I felt relief that she didn’t feel attraction to him. But, strangely I was also disappointed.  I wanted her to have messed up too.  Then I wouldn’t have felt so awful about Sophia and I, so scared to tell May my story.

Still I felt like I was in heaven the next month, spending lots of time together, watching her take a few steps all on her own, and knowing she still loved me.