I walked back to my room, the one I now shared with May, as slowly as possible. Shuffling is a better word for it. I considered not telling her for half a minute. I thought longer about denying the truth. Would Sophia and her family demand a paternity test? Could Dr. Harris even do that here? It seemed like he could do about anything here. I didn't know if I'd be caught but I knew how secrets between May and I felt. There was no way I wanted to feel like that again. I didn't want a new wall seperating us. I then thought about a little baby not knowing their Dad. I knew I had to tell the truth and I felt like I was going to puke.
May was angry when I had told her. I tried to remind myself she was mad mostly at the circumstances. It felt like she was angry at me. She ran to the bathrooms. She did puke. When she emerged she looked pale. We slowly walked back to our room.
Then she started crying, hard. “I wanted to be your first. I didn’t get that. I wanted to be the only one to bear your babies. What are you going to do?”
“I’m sorry May, I’m so sorry baby. I’m going to help with my kid, spend time with him or her… is that what you are asking?”
“Oh my God you are having a baby with HER!” She screamed, the reality sinking in a little more.
“This doesn’t change anything between us, okay? Look at me May. Please.”
She was staring at the ground. She kept staring at the ground. I touched her chin, softly lifting it until her eyes met mine.
I had promised myself and Robert I’d never hurt May again. The pain and disappointment I saw in her eyes shredded me inside. At the thought of Robert a new feeling emerged- fear. He was going to seriously kick my ass when he found out I was the father of Sophia's baby and the fact that, while I would be a dad to my child, I was not going to get back together with Sophia.
“Michael, why did she tell you? What does she want? Does she want to be with you?”
Shit. I really didn’t want to answer that. “It doesn’t matter. I’m in love with you. She doesn’t want someone in love with someone else. Nobody does.”
“It matters. Tell me what she said. And, why do you believe this baby is yours? You said she was with others.”
“The last couple months she said she wasn’t, and thinking back to that time I don’t remember anyone else around. She’s got issues, but she’s honest- in your face honest.”
“Michael, tell me, what did she say about her feelings for you?”
“She said she fell in love with me, that’s why she stopped seeing other guys.” I didn’t tell May how huge it was for Sophia to feel again after being numb for a long time. “I told her I was committed to you now, happy with you. This changes NOTHING between us.”
“It changes everything.” I started to shake. I didn’t want to hear this. She was done with me and who could blame her.
After a long pause, she whispered, “You should be with her. She’s going to have your baby. She loves you and you liked her enough to… to betray me in the first place.”
She was going to let me go, but she never said she didn’t love me or that I had just hurt her too much. She was trying to do what she thought was right, what she thought some part of me might want, but she still wanted me. She could leave me, but I was not leaving her.
“No.” I said firmly. May glanced up surprised. “May, I love you. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone for me to get back together with Sophia. Besides ‘staying together for the children’ is bullshit, antiquated, unhealthy- not even the kids benefit from that. I knocked her up so now we should be together forever? No.”
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Hopeless Romance
RomanceMy country, Alume, was once the wealthiest in the world. It was also the greediest. We borrowed money from another rich and powerful country, Rache. We bought everything from them because it was cheaper and we could get more. We ignored that our...
