Hopeless Romance

Chapter Thirteen

I realized I was awake, but I kept my eyes shut while “Oh shit!” circled around my brain. I moaned the same words out loud, without meaning to, and opened my eyes and quickly looked around for Sophia but she wasn’t there. I was thankful about that- how would she have felt hearing that? And, I was exhausted.  I needed a break from her.  Sophia had been amazing.  I had no idea how long we had been in her room.  I knew the blue sky peeking through a hole in her ceiling had turned to black a few times, but I had lost count.  Well, I hadn’t really been paying attention.  I had only had strawberries and water since I came to her room.  Sophia tasted like strawberries. My stomach grumbled, asking for something more substantial, some protein or something.

But, I didn’t get up.  I just sat staring at the wall thinking of May.  Aching again like I did when she had left.

I looked around the room, again I had been a little too, um, preoccupied to pay much attention to my surroundings.  The candles were out, but it was still pretty light because of the hole in the ceiling, in a corner of her large room.  I followed the stream of sunlight down into a small, deep aqua pool of water.  In the middle there was a small island with strawberries growing. Ah, so that’s how she kept so well stocked!  I could see through the clear water to a smooth rock floor.  Wow.  It was another spring, in her room!  In another corner of her room a small river weaved through.  Her room was at least twice as big as mine.   

I saw my clothes.  I walked over to put them on.  The feelings, doubts, May- all the thoughts that had shrunk then disappeared when Sophia was there with me were now giants charging through my mind.  Did I regret this?  I was so confused.  What would I say to Sophia?  May?  I had told Sophia about May, my feelings for her, and May’s experiences with Dr. Cha.   I felt like I might puke. I sat down, my head in my hands, my clothes still on the floor. I’ve never felt so broken, so down about myself.  But, I didn’t cry, which surprised me. Maybe I was out of tears.  I had cried so often since May left.  I felt numb.

I wondered if I would get lost if I tried to find my way back to the library.  I decided to wait a little while to see if Sophia would return.  I went over to the little underground river.  It made sense that Frank would give his daughter the best room in the house.  She was spoiled!  Sophia had a decorative screen put up in a corner, right where the water went under her wall. I used this toilet.

Then, I looked at the deep pool.  Usually I used camping showers like everyone else.  They were in a big group locker room area.  There was one for males, and one for females.  Luckily, the water was warm which came as a surprise to me the first time.  The water bags were thick, black, heavy plastic bags filled with water.  They were heavier than the one gallon milk containers I used to carry into the house after they were delivered; I guess each water bag is about two or three gallons.  They had long plastic tubes snaking away from the connection spot, with an off/on nozzle at the end. There were always a few locker attendants gathering up the water bags.  I found out that someone else would bring them up to the surface so they could soak up the sun for a few hours, then these new bags were rotated in.   Sometimes you had to wait an hour or more in line.

I glanced around the pool area.  I saw a camping soap bar and shampoo on the side of the pool and soft towels folded on a nearby rock. It looked very tempting.  I didn’t know if I should take a bath without asking Sophia so I sat on a rock and waited, impatiently tapping my foot.  Finally, I decided I really needed a bath and if she was worried about it she shouldn’t have left me here for hours alone.  The first step into the cold water sent a shiver through me.  I knew I either had to plunge in or back out entirely.  I dove; well not head first, it was way too shallow for that, just one of those falling into a swim kind of things.  I rushed because of the cold water, hurriedly soaping up and rinsing off.  Maybe she added warm water or something?  I felt clean and a bit better after washing up.  I dressed and sat on her bed.  It smelled like her.