Because of you

Chapter 3

Emma's pov

I went downstairs. My parents sat on the kitchentable. We ate together and then startes talking.

"Have you already decided what you want to do?" my dad asked.

"I'm not going, but I want Jack to tell her something," I said. Tears were welling up in my eyes again as the realisation hit that I will never see her again, that I just declined the only moment I could see her ever again.

Last time I saw her was on a funeral, ironic.
Last year, my stephbrother committed suicide. I was so taken by it, I just couldn't understand. What you have to know is that I hadn't see him in ages. I am still so angry at myself for nor contacting him, but than I think about how he also didn't tried. At least, that's what I think. He could have an amazing life, but the thing was: he was gay, his father (my stephfather) is against it. I truely miss him and the past year, there wasn't a day I didn't think of him. Now, a year later, there will be a new death I have to deal with, I know she is still alive, but for how long?

The other thing is, my parents go on holiday next week, I stay home because I have to work, I want the money. I will stay with my grandparents the first week and I'm not looking forward to it.

Soon, my dad left to pick up my brother and go to the hospital. I sent Jack a text:

Please tell her that I made the decision my own and that I want to remember how she used to be...

I got into the shower, my favorite album (youngblood by 5sos) was playing and I was crying. I calmed down a bit and after I was done showering, I facetimed Harvey.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey, how are you?" he asked. I could hear the concern in his voice.

"I calmed down a bit, but it's still hard."

"I can imagine. What do you feel?" he asked. I was taken aback by that question and I thought about it.

"I am angry, because she took alcohol above her own children. I am dissapointed, because I always hoped that she would stop drinking and show us that she cares about us, I al humiliated, because alcohol was more important to her then Jack and me, but then again, she stays my mother and I didn't thought it would happen so soon," I said.

"What do you mean by that last part?" he asked me.

"A couple years ago, the doctor warned her that if she kept drinking, she would drink herself to death, which happened," I explained.

"You know this is not a normal situation and all I want to do is hug you," he blushed a bit at the last part and it was the cutest.

"No one said you can't," I said.

"Really?" he asked.

"I can use some company and huggs," I said.

"We'll meet at 2pm, the same bench as yesterday?" he asked. I heard rhe frontdoor close.

"Yes, I will be there. I have to go, my father is home," I said and switched off my phone and went downstaires.

"How was it?" I asked.

"It was a good decision you didn't go. Before Jack went in, the nurse warned him that she changed a lot in a short period. Jack was also shocked. He thinks that she doesn't even know he went there. She's completly out of this world," he said.

I hugged him as I started crying again.

That was it. The last chance to say goodbye to my mother. The last chance to say goodbye to the person who gave me birth. The last chance to say goodbye to the person I once looked up to, before she decided to ruin her own life. It was the last chance, I would never have the opportunity to see her again. I said no to the last chance to say hi to my mother.