The Bored Book

Things My Mother Taught Me

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION -

"You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL -

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC -

"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me more LOGIC -

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT -

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY -

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST -

"Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA -

"You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER -

"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS -

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen THEN?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY -

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -

"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY -

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION -

"Just wait until we get home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING -

"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE -

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My mother taught me to THINK AHEAD -

"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My mother taught me ESP -

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

My mother taught me HUMOR -

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT -

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me about GENETICS -

"You're just like your father."

My mother taught me about my ROOTS -

"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE -

"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And my all time favorite... JUSTICE -

"One day you'll have kids ... and I hope they turn out just like you!"

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And because I didn't Update yesterday here another one: A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver's door.

"Is there a problem Officer?"

The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?"

The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."

"You don't have one?"

The man responds, "I lost it four times for drunk driving."

The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do that."

The policeman says, "Why not?"

"I stole this car."

The officer says, "Stole it?"

The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."

At this point the officer is getting worried. "You what!?"

"She's in the trunk if you want to see."

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

The senior officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"

The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem sir?"

"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."

"Murdered the owner?"

The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please?"

The man opens the trunk, revealing nothing.

The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"

The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.

The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."

The man replies, "I bet you the liar told you I was speeding, too!"

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Answer to guess the song last time; Lady Zamar Collide

Answer to Scary Riddle last time; How can the murderer shoot him in the stomach if he came up behind the man?

I have information about the whodunit contest, i have a character and the first daft of that character story and I have information about the other suspects. I have all of this and still no clue what to do!?😭😪

Anyway nevermind my suffering here today's game.

Guess The Song; Welcome to the room of people
Who have rooms of people that they loved one day
Docked away
Just because we check the guns at the door
Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades
You're lovin' on the psychopath sitting next to you
You're lovin' on the murderer sitting next to you
You'll think, "How'd I get here, sitting next to you?"

Riddle;
I know a word which reads the same when written forward, backward or upside down. Do you?