The Bored Book

Google Products

Google Products We'll Never See.

11. Google Hitman Assistant - Find, schedule, and collect on all your assassinations with this suite of products.

10. Googlearchy - Tired of democracy? Install the government that everyone loves without annoying pop-up ads.

9. Google Smite - An extension of Google Earth uses laser beams attached to the satellites to exact revenge or just have some fun for paid subscribers.

8. Google Carnage - Use real-time satellite images to zoom in and see car, train, or plane crashes and other disasters.

7. Google Ogle - The hottest unsecured webcams on the Internet.

6. Googlebator - Used with Google Ogle, it's our first attempt at hardware.

5. Google Alibi - Paid service that will provide you with a credible account for your whereabouts.

4. Google Telegraph - Dash-Dot, Dash-Dash-Dash, Dash.

3. Google Gaggle - The only search engine for geese.

2. Google Invading Force - Some pesky third world country got you down? Send in the troops with Google's new troop management tool.

1. Gogoel - Search, for dyslexics.

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As Good As It Gets, "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." - Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949.

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." - The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what ... is it good for?" - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'" - Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and HP interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.

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Guess The Song:
Lay where you're layin'
Don't make a sound
I know they're watchin'
They're watchin'
All the commotion
The kiddie like play
It has people talkin'
Talkin'

Ooh, would you look at that? A quote flew in.

Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Hmm, I wonder who said that?