𝘿𝙀𝘼𝙍 𝘿𝙄𝘼𝙍𝙔 | 𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙂 {𝑫𝑰𝑺𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑼𝑬𝑫}

Diary Entry 41

February 24, 2019, Thursday

Dear Diary,

I've learned many things while going to see minho. He isn't there every night. In fact every Thursday and Friday he isn't. And when he is there he doesn't always cry. Sometimes he'll just keep his head in his hands the entire time. In those times i keep him company until he taps my leg and spreads his arms for a hug.

He's also surprisingly cuddly. When he gets into those times where he just sits there, sometimes instead of just letting me go into his arms, he'll pull me onto one side of his lap and put my legs over the other side. Then he'll wrap his arms around my waist and nuzzle his face into my hair. Whenever he does that it always make me flustered >///<

I've also figured out that somethings calm him down quicker than other things. Like if I straddle his thighs and pull his head into my chest then stroke his hair and whisper sweet things into his ear he'll calm down really quick. But if I sit next to him and hug him that way he won't calm down quickly at all. It seems that the more affection he gets the less time it takes to calm him down.

Minho's also kinda shy. Whenever he wants me to do something he'll just do hand gestures to indicate it. But he'll never just tell me what he wants. If he wants a hug he'll spread his arms, if he wants me to hold his hand he'll stick his hand out towards me, if he wants me to play with his hair he'll put my hand in his hair, etc.

But I also think he still hates me. He won't talk to me at all when I'm there. And at school he completely ignores me. I've tried to talk to him at school but he always just pretends I'm not there. He doesn't really bully me anymore though. But his friends changbin and hyunjin still do. Hyunjin does the least amount, which is expected since he's STMG hyung. Changbin does though. A lot. I can't even change in the boys locker room with the rest of class anymore because I have PE with changbin. He's always there, even though he's older, to help out the teacher. Him and like three other boys always say terrible things about me while I'm in there or take my clothes when I'm showering.

There's another thing. He outted me. Changbin outted me to the whole school. Fortunately, almost everyone here is accepting of it. Minus like two teachers and a few students no one really cares. I don't have those two teachers, thankfully, and the students only really call me names when Felix or seungmin isn't around. All except for changbin. He's really homophobic and he doesn't care who's around. He'll do anything and everything to make my life hell. Well jokes on him, I've already been through hell and back. So whatever he does is like nothing compared to what I've seen and been through.

-jisung 12:48am

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