You are my life

Piper's prologue

(Piper's POV)

I have always chosen the easy path in life. The one set out in front of me by my WASP family and friends with their expectations of me. I'm not going to lie, I've always been a Daddy's girl but being a Daddy's girl is a little hard when said parent finds out you fell in love with a lesbian drug dealer when you were 22 then went to prison with her.
Since then, Alex has always been that one constant in my life. Regardless of an 8 year separation. Love, when it's true and real, has no time or other restraints. I know that now. I was blind to it before.

You see, Alex has also always been the hard path. Sure, living a life of luxury all over the world with her was amazing but it was also dangerous. That danger scared me. It's why I left the first time.

Since then, Alex has always accused me of abandoning her and I will admit, how I left her was cruel but I just couldn't face the fear of her job anymore. I know thanks to her father, well, more so me, Alex has abandonment issues and since I left her she has associated me with abandonment also. She keeps reminding me of it.

Second time around, we meet again. In prison. She put me there and lied about it. Now, here is when I find out that it's possible to love two people at the same time but for entirely different reasons. Take Larry, he's sweet, kind, caring, yes a little unfocused but he's the easy route. Then you have Alex, she's hot, she's sexy, she's dangerous, she's exciting, she's caring, she's.. my heart. But she's the hard route. I was in love with Alex. I am in love with Alex, I always will be but I loved the easy life Larry provided. Then, thanks to Polly, that went south so once again, what do you know, Alex pops back up in my life again then she betrays me for a plea deal. Although, I guess a scorned ex-girlfriend is easier to deal with than a scorned ex drug lord boss who wouldn't hesitate to kill her. With this thought and my apparently undying love for her swirling through my mind, I take action and land her back in prison with me. Things are bumpy for a while then they start to pick up. I start thinking that maybe there's a reason I love Alex so much and we're starting to do easy. Of course not, she turns paranoid over Kubra and I cross paths with Stella Carlin. Like Larry, Stella provided easy, she was interested in me while Alex was off leading me down the hard and dangerous path again.

Fast forward through to today where my pain in not being able to help Alex, Alex's physical pain and the horrible thing we went through together, made me realise, Alex is who I want. Alex is who I'm in love with. I don't ever want to miss out on being with her. So, I proposed, she said yes and we got (prison) married. Then I got early release and had to leave her behind. What do you know? Our 10 seconds of happiness evaporated into a cloud of hard route. Again.

Choosing Alex and being separated from her I knew was always going to be tough on both of us, what I didn't expect, however, was Alex fucking a guard. I guess she needed relief too but this hurt me to my core and what hurt me more was having to find out from quite frankly, a deranged CO McCullough instead of the woman who was supposed to love me. All this time I'd been sort of good. Yes, I'd had sex with other people but that was under Alex's persistent instructions and I could never really go through with it. Alex was all I wanted, is all I want. Then Zelda cropped into my life and it suddenly got so much better. She reminded me of Alex back in her glory days and I will admit, it was attractive being reminded of how powerful my wife once was. Zelda and her lifestyle were attractive, yes, but I held off on that urge because I love and am married to Alex. Finding out about Alex and knowing Zelda was attracted to me spurred me into fucking Zelda in retaliation. Then it hit me. I respond to pain.

Alex has always been the biggest headache and the biggest pain in the ass but she's MY headache and pain in the ass. McCullough's revelation made me realise that losing Alex is and always has been the biggest pain I could ever face. Love is pain. Was that Alex's plan all along? To get me on the same wavelength as her? It would make sense because it would mean our relationship could finally have an even playing field for us to work. Besides, Alex has forgiven me for so much in the past. I could forgive her for this right? I mean, she did tell me McCullough was meaningless and that she was scared I was going to leave her again.
I was 'always' going to be loved by Alex apparently. Isn't it funny how history can repeat itself? There's Alex lurking in the background ready to reclaim me into her web of love, the one constant in my life. Then there's someone new who develops feelings for me while Alex powerlessly watches on, preparing to shoot a tendril of hypnotising, all-consuming love to wrap me in, repossessing her rightful, favourite prey. Making me feel warm and numb while she sinks her fangs in me.
Previously, I was loved by both Larry and Alex. Now, I'm in the middle of a love war between Zelda and Alex. Two incredible women who have strong feelings for me.
Black widow, meet house spider.
Either way, I am unable to escape.