You are my life

I'm sorry

(Piper's POV)

Once I'd finished having lunch with Zelda, I left the restaurant and took a cab back to the hotel where an angry Alex was waiting to continue this fight.
Truth be told, ever since Alex left the restaurant I've felt awful.
I called her to come to try and make up but instead it blew up into yet another fight.
I just wanted to fix this.
I wanted Alex and I to talk once and for all so we could go back to being us again.

Pulling up outside the hotel, I thank the driver and tip him then I make my way up to the suite.
When I got to the door of the suite, I had to pause and take deep breaths.
Fights with Alex were exhausting and drained me.
I knew they drained her too.
So with that thought in mind, hoping that if we did continue this fight, we'd get tired pretty quickly, I insert the keycard in the lock and open the door.

Alex was sitting on the couch with a scotch on the rocks in her hand. Clearly ordered from room service. Her other hand was in a fist and holding her head up as she leaned on the arm of the couch.
When she heard the door open, she bitterly asks,
"How was lunch?"
I sigh.
"It was fine. Look Alex, I don't want to fight with you anymore. I just want us, no, I need us to talk this out so we can go back to being us again."
Alex raises her eyebrows and her eyes go wide before going back to her normal sized facial features.
"That's what I've been trying to do for quite some time now Piper." She sighs, taking a swig of scotch.
I flop on the couch on the opposite end to her and sigh, staring up at the ceiling.
I could feel her eyes on me.
Then I hear the clink of her glass being put onto the coffee table and the couch moving as she stretched to put it there.
She then takes my legs and puts them above hers, rubbing them, asking me to look at her. So I do.
"I just want us to go back to being us too Pipes. More than anything. So what do you need to talk about to make that happen?" She asks me.
I look away again and sigh.
"Alright Alex, here's where I stand. I understand why you did what you did. I do. It hurts like hell that you did it at all but I understand. I know you're jealous of Zelda but you have to understand the reason I slept with her. I love you so much and I want to trust you but trust is something I'm going to need to work on with you now. And because of that, with what I heard in court, with what I know, you touching me brings it all back and I just can't shake the image of you and... her. It's inhibiting me. I mean look at you. You're beautiful. You're gorgeous. You're so sexy. You're smart. You could literally have anyone you want and leave me. You did do that actually."
I say and have to stop for a trembling sob and a sniffle but I continue.
"I have insecurities too Alex. I know what everyone says and thinks of me. They think I'm privileged, spoiled, a know it all, a WASP. Then when Larry slept with Polly, my best friend and my fiancé together, I lost two people who were important to me. When I got out, they wanted nothing more to do with me. Then I found out about you and... McCullough. I thought you wanted nothing more to do with me either. So I turned to Zelda." I confess.

Alex rubs my legs then moves me further onto her lap so she can reach my face to cup it and force me to look at her.
"Pipes, listen. She's a psycho who became obsessed with me when I used her out of fear of losing you. She was literally a human shield. From you and from Hellman. Everything I said on the stand was true. Do you remember in prison when we were listening to Larry on the radio and he said that the two of you had this understanding where if it was just sex with someone else it wouldn't matter because at the end of the day you loved each other? That isn't you and Larry, that's me and you babe. I have only ever truly wanted one person, I love YOU babe, you know I don't say that to everyone. And yes, you may be a privileged, spoiled WASP but you're my privileged, spoiled WASP. Also, have you seen you?! Your sparkling ocean blue eyes, your smile that could light up any dark room, your laugh, your sense of humour. You get me in every way. Pipes, you complete me. I love you and I trust you. Especially after what you did for me. It's just people like Zelda I don't trust. Please believe me when I say it'll never happen again."

I was stunned into silence.
Her description of me made me smile and giggle slightly which made her smile in turn.
Then she leans in and kisses me.
I kiss her back.
Then she starts to try for more but I just can't do it.
Alex growls in frustration.
"Uugh Pipes would you just let me love you already?! I'm so sick of you not letting me and I hate that Zelda was the last person to... touch you... that way." She says, struggling to get her last few words out before continuing.
"Why can't you just forgive me? I forgave you for Stella." She sobs pleadingly.
I have to bite back my own sobs.
"Because back then, I was still learning that you were it for me. You kept telling me you'd already figured out I was it for you so when you did that, I thought you didn't love me anymore. Now that I know the extent of what you did, you know what hurts the most? That you've clearly never trusted me and that you're not my Alex anymore."
I get up and walk into the bedroom stifling a sob before Alex can say anything else.

She follows me though.

"Pipes I'll always be your Alex. Just as you'll always be my Pipes. When I received the care package you sent, I was so overwhelmed with happiness and love, I was hit with the realisation that I'm it for you so I immediately stopped things with McCullough. I didn't cheat on you because I was unhappy with you or because I didn't want you anymore. That's why I cheated on Sylvia when I found you. I fell hard for you from the get go. You know that. Just, picturing you with other people, with other people touching you, I just, it just got me too upset for words and I instantly regretted telling you that you could see other people. I thought you'd replaced me with Zelda. But you make me so happy. You make me feel loved. You make me feel needed. I'll ALWAYS want and love you and now I'll always trust you. Okay?" She confesses.

I sigh thoughtfully as Alex comes to hold my hand in hers and kisses me again.
Unfortunately for her, her tummy growled so I got up from bed and went to order room service, leaving her to pout on the bed.