You are my life

Desperation

(Alex's POV)

Unfortunately, everything McCullough had said on the stand was true. I couldn't deny any of it and when I tried to reassure Piper by trying to awkwardly take her hand, she pulled away like my hand was a hot coal.
I'd hurt her so deeply.
This may honestly be the last straw with her even if she had come back for me.
After today, I could bet that Alex and Piper would be no more and it was all my fault.
Pushing back the tears and doing my best to swallow the lump in my throat, I stand up and get led to the stand by the bailiff again who once again puts me under oath.

"Miss Vause, how did you manage to contact Councillor Vause-Chapman with a cell phone?" She asks. It was a pretty stupid question, I'd pretty much already answered that in my first testimony when Piper was questioning me. She was obviously hoping Hellman had given it to me for selling for him but wasn't she meant to be representing all of them? Then again, who could really like Hellman?

"Isn't that obvious from my previous testimony?" I snark at her.

I wasn't in the mood for this anymore.
My relationship was back to being in tatters, more so than ever and Piper wasn't even trying to defend me anymore.
She looked as though she truly had given up on us. She was sitting at the prosecution table with folded arms and glaring a burning hole in my head, actually, I was lucky if I even got a glare, she wouldn't even look at me.

"Inmate Vause, may I remind you that you are under oath and you will be held in contempt of court if you don't answer properly." The judge warns.
I sigh,
"Former CO McCullough gave it to me as 'a reward' for selling for her. As I said before, she knew I was missing my wife and wanted more contact with her so I became her lap dog that got treats if I did something good."

"You certainly got treats, there's no doubts here." The defence lawyer snarks back.

Piper, not even bothering to stand up, half-heartedly asks, "Objection your honour, was that even a question?"

She was obviously only doing this for the win now.
That, is how much I'd hurt her.

"I agree, is there a question coming?" The judge asks and warns the defence lawyer.

She nods,
"There is your honour. Miss Vause, did you tell Miss McCullough that you two could be real if you weren't married?"

I knew this was a trick question. I did say that but it was a lie to pacify McCullough. I wasn't born yesterday and God knows, I'd had plenty of breakups in my lifetime and McCullough was a CO, I said that to avoid repercussions but ended up getting them anyway. The defence wouldn't care that it was a lie, if I answered yes then she'd stop me and say no further questions. I didn't want to ruin Piper's life further so I simply answer,
"I lied. There was never a future there. As I said, I used her. She was just sex to me. I said that to avoid repercussions. Piper is my past, present and future. I love Piper. I'm in love with Piper. I always have and I always will."
I say the last bit wholeheartedly as I longingly look at Piper, hoping she'd look up from the table.
She flashes me a quick glance but that is all.
"But you did say it?" The defence lawyer then asks, snapping me out of my one-sided staring contest with Piper.
I deflate,
"I did."
"No further questions your honour."
The defence lawyer states and sits down.

"Have both sides finished questioning inmate Vause and Miss McCullough?" The judge asks.
Piper and the defence lawyer nod so the judge turns to me,
"You may return to your seat inmate Vause."
I do and Piper immediately shoots up from her seat once I was beside her.
"Your honour I'd like to call to the stand former CO Hellman." She says.
It was now my turn to cry silently as I look down at the table.
What the fuck have I done?

Once Hellman was put under oath, Piper laid into him. She obviously wanted a win but she obviously still cared about me if not us anymore. With McCullough she was hurt and angry, with Hellman, she was livid. I guess I could have died because of Hellman.
Piper begins,
"Mr Hellman. The only reason I'm giving you a title is because I'm required to in court, otherwise, I would probably treat you with the same disrespect as you treated inmates at Litchfield Max.
Now, to begin, I am putting forth the charges of assault, abuse, coercion and sexual harassment against you and by default, I hereby strip you of your title of Warden. How do you plead?" She asks.
Hellman glares at her,
"Not guilty."
Piper curtly nods and starts strutting.
"Are you sure about that? Because I have evidence that proves otherwise. Your honour, ladies and gentleman of the jury, if you would please be so kind as to look at the screen, I would like to submit my own phone records into evidence."

The jury, the accused COs, Linda, the gantry and I all look at the screen displaying her phone records with a highlighted strip of yellow running a quarter of the way down.

"Mr Hellman, did you shove a roll of heroin down my client's throat?" She asks with venom.

This made me hopeful.
Her anger and sheer animosity towards Hellman proved she cared about me even if I had deeply hurt her.
If we survived this, I knew I had some serious begging and grovelling to do.
It was well known that I begged for nothing except my weakness.
Piper.

"No comment." Hellman states, continuing to give Piper a cold glare.

"Okay. I understand that you have the right to plead the fifth, but let me just explain. The call that is highlighted that took place at approximately 11pm, is a phone call between my client and I, who we also know, is my wife. In this phone call, she told me that you were forcing her to sell for you then she told me that you shoved HEROIN down her throat which she had to swallow and let pass through her system. This was a gross act of violence, assault, coercion and abuse. You're lucky I'm not adding attempted murder to your charges Mr Hellman because this could have killed her." Piper states, giving him a livid glare in return, her voice full of venom.

"You don't have any proof that that's what that call was about." He deadpans.

Piper quickly retorts,
"Are you calling a federal prosecutor a liar?"

Holy fuck.

Not only did that leave Hellman speechless but my God, hearing Piper call herself a federal prosecutor in that suit and in that way, it did things to me. As in, hot and bothered things. Also, seeing how much she still cares is making me squirm in my seat. The only thing refraining me from dragging her into the judge's chambers right here right now is the fact I'm handcuffed in a courtroom and she more than likely wouldn't let me.